Nasty

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"Just hear me out" drew broke the silence first "before any decision is made... Queen please hear me out"

I waved him off "i'm listening" 

I backed up from him keeping my distance, I couldn't confuse my feelings and what's right at the moment.

"Queen... I love you" he cleared his throat " and I'm not talking about 'you ride for me, you die for me' love I mean I want to wake up with you the next more and watch of the sun hit every curve of your body, I want to appreciate you for being my woman" he stepped close to me but I put my hand up to him

"No, please, no"

" and I deserve it" he clenched his jaws together "from the beginning you've been nothing but solid and I was blind, I grew up on the streets... My mom wasnt around like that my pops was a got damn dealer the biggest, I pushed his name, that was all I knew and when you came I took you for granted. Queen" he reached his hands out to me open "I swear to to, I cannot lose you I want this" he gestured to the house "I don't shit else and I fucked up so many times but I get now, I'm in now."

"I was down, hung up like a fucking piñata, I was going to be trafficed..." I took deep breaths "drew, I love you too, but all of this is a tough fucking pill to swollow, our babies depend us to be better then this. How is this going to work? How do I forgive you!? Or me?! I had as much to do with it as you did, you know what talking about. Rico wanted me too for his brother" I closed my eyes remembering the man I first planned to start a life with.

"This is not on you !" He squeezed his hands into a fist "I'm held the weight I killed him ! I didn't know shit about you until later and even then i  didn't know your identity. By that time I was pushing heavy fuckig weight and wasn't doing corners no more. Queen, what I'm saying is, you did nothing wrong, you fell for a nigga that was mixed in a dangerous world and I killed him for come up... It sounds" he signed "fucked up is what it sounds like and it is but it was my dealing not yours. But the moment I made you my woman... It became your involuntary, I shouldn't have drug you in shit the moment I found out who your were I should have left you alone"

"But we are here now, so what do we do!"

He walked towards me fast and pulled me to him "I want this" placing his forehead to mines, he closed his eyes "tell me you love me"

Tears fell from my eyes, and I hated his warm touches, his strength but I shook my head "I cant"

"Queen, please baby, we can fix this. Day by day"

"You are never out the game drew... You know how it works"

"Our connect is dead, the entire site is Run over, I gave my position up to a young cat"

"The same motherfucking who shot our car up! How do we know that this is it? That we weren't followed or traced ?"

He pressed me to the wall and pressed his lips to my lips "tell me you love me"

"I do! Drew, I do fucking love you" he grabbed his face "but"

"But I will be here, nothing is going to happen to us, we are safe just trust me"

"I don't want my babies to be in danger ever again, we've only been toxic-

"Please queen" he begged dropping to his knees and hold my waist his head in my gut "this family, you, are all I have left and im not fucking that up again"

"I believe you, but I need to see it"

I pushed him off me holding my arms and hurried upstair before I could run back to him. I would forgive eventually, I loved him already. One day we would be good, but for right now we had hungry babies and time to heal.

That's what we needed.