I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

26

"Let me be Roger!" I blurted back, stubbornly still continuing on stumbling away.
"Brian! Come on!"
I ignored him and kept on going, not willing to stop and look into his eyes.
"Brian I won't let you go anywhere like this!"
"You won't let me?!" I froze in place, finally turning towards him, rage completely taking over my actions. "What the fuck Roger! You don't control me! You fucked up, you betrayed me! You didn't do the right thing, you weren't there for me when I needed you, and now you're pretending as if you suddenly cared, to make yourself feel better, but you're just making shit worse! Perhaps you should apologize instead of manipulating me! But that's not your style is it?!" I spat out at him. "You never do, Roger, never. You're the most stubborn, selfish, dumbass person I know!  I never want to see you again! Now leave me alone before I call the fucking cops!"
With that, as a pathetic end of my words, I bent over to puke once more on the ground in front of his feet, before leaving him there, stomping angrily down the road even though I was about to pass out at this point.

Roger's P.O.V.

I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I inhaled still shorter and shorter, I was hot, dreadfully hot and sweating all over, heard my own fast heartbeat banging loudly in my head. I stood there in the cold morning air, my bare feet freezing on the pavement. I wasn't able to move a single muscle, not even close my mouth, as my jaw fell down. I kept on staring behind Brian's slowly disappearing figure, shivering uncontrollably, my eyes wide, slowly filling with tears.

The words came out of his mouth without him hesitating about them, attacking me cruelly. He hurt me. So much. I think I have never been hurt so much. All this stuff that he said- I never thought he had those mentions of me. Hovered, more terrifying were his emotions. The rage, anger and disgust were streaming from his voice. They were in such extremes, in such measure I've never seen in him. His fury made me believe he really did mean that. It made me think it was true.
I fell down on my knees as my legs gave up underneath me, and I started shaking more. I brought my hand up to my lips slowly, first tear streaming down my face. I gently stroked my soft skin, in a trance, still staring at the end of the street, but unfortunately, he was already gone.
I still felt the touch of his skin on me. The gentle , incredibly soft, loving touch, lasting only few seconds, but we're definitely the best seconds in my love. The touch, simple, but so pure and careful, however filled with passion and millions of different emotions. My heart skipped a beat only thinking about it.
I felt his breath in my face, I felt his aroma, beautiful, deep, the one I couldn't get enough. I felt the touch of his hand in my cheek, his soft skin.

"Brian..." I whispered underneath my breath, tears streaming down my face in rivers. Oh god I really did love him.

I needed him. And he just broke my heart to pieces.

Brian's P.O.V.

Esther was already gone when I stumbled into the flat, after managing to open the door with my keys and shaking hands. None of her belongings, her scent also disappearing in the air already. She was gonne, along with half of my savings.
Immediately, I ran to the toilet to throw up all what was rest in me.
I was so horribly sick. I felt I might die. Not only because of how I was feeling physically, but my guilt added up a lot too. I was so confused. All emotions and panic, terrified thought were swirling inside my head. My hangover didn't add up to it much as well, often, I couldn't recognize what I really said and didn't and what was just my imagination.

The one thing I knew fore sure, the enormous feeling I couldn't push away the hardest I could, was the guilt and despair. I fucked up. I fucked yo so bad. I want angry anymore. Now I knew I acted so horridly unfair. It wasn't fair to roger. I should have never say that. I didn't even mean it.
I remembered some scenes from yesterday's evening. I knew Roger took care of me. Nothing I said was true. But I said so terrible things, I was ashamed of them so much, and I knew very well how much I must have hurt Roger, I cii I god even apologize to him.

But I had to. I wanted to. I couldn't leave it like this. He deserves it. He might send me to hell, but I have to at least try. And beg him for forgiveness.

I crawled from the bathroom to the phone on the wall.
It rang was too long. He still wasn't picking up. I nearly wanted to hang up, when finally the phone clicked.
"Yes?" His voice sounded awful, it scared me. He sounded as if he was sick, his voice was small, and shaking, blurred as if he was crying. My eyes filled with tears immediately.
"Um, uh- hi, Rog, it's Bri," I stuttered into the device.
"Goodbye Brian," he replied, voice dead and cold, hanging up immediately.
"No, Rog, wait!" I shouted, hoping I would stop him in time.
"What is it?!" He sighed, annoyed, but mostly dreadfully sad.
"Roger, I, Uh-" suddenly I didn't know what to say, where to start. "Could you come over please?"
"Why would I do that? You don't ever want to see me again."
"Roger, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I need to speak with you."
"I'm not coming Bri."
"Please. I would come myself, but- I don't think I'm able to go anywhere now," I let out a sad chuckle.

The line was silent for few moments.
"Okay. I'm on my way."
With that he hung up.

I was relieved he agreed on coming, but on the other hand, I started to panic. What the hell am I going to say to him?! How am I going to explain?! How am I going to apologize?!

Let's get emotional!