Hated (omegaverse Tododeku)

12

Izuku's POV
(Warning:depression, sensitive people don't read)
Hospital.Im at a firkin hospital.If it isn't already obvious I hate hospitals.And no it's not like I'm scared of needless or doctor or whatever.I hate the smell and the beeping of the heart monitor.But maybe that's because if the beeping stops it means someone's dead.I don't know how I should feel about death.I mean sure depression is something I feel...but I don't know what I feel now.This is all so surreal.What I know isn't surreal is Todoroki.And the fact that I love him.But I don't think he likes me....I mean I don't like me.Im painfully disgusting, I mean really I can't even hold down grade-A hospital food.Im pathetic, I'm so weak...I have to stop but it's not me it's my thoughts that are running wild...it sure as hell isn't me.Or maybe it is.But whenever Todoroki visits me, which is up to 2 times a day.One time in the morning another in the evening.He always makes me feel alive like the pain I've been through is meaningless, he makes me feel like I can fly, and that I can take over the world.But when he leaves I feel empty and sad and desperate for him to come back.I look down at the white clean sheets, that disgust me.If you ask why I hate clean things well...who knows, it could be that I am disgusted of myself being in such clean sheets.I feel this sharp pain run through me and I look down again to see my hand scratching at my wrist so much so that it's bleeding.This laugh starts to bubble up in my throat and I think I've gone insane.But I stop as I my heart monitor beeps louder, and louder, and louder...louder...louder...louder...and louder.I didn't know when a nurse showed up but one did and held me down as they yelled for a doctor.I watched as my vision faded until...
"Midoriya!!"I heard him yell and my heart beat slowed to it's normal rhythm.
"T-todo...roki...I...Sorry..."I trailed off before my vision turned black and let the void that I wish would keep being a void take me.Instead it turned into a nightmare that was all to familiar.

Yelling, screaming, pain.

Black

Yelling pain, cold

Black

Struggling,cold, pain

Black

Cold...cold, stop,silence

Black

Pain,pain,pain,pain,pain,pain,pain.......cold.

I woke up to a worried todoroki and I blinked as tears fell out of my eyes as I tried to reach out for him but failed with Todoroki pushing me down as I look away.
"I'm sorry....I worried you....I'm sorry...."I muttered feeling my breath go cold as I cling to his chest.Those words flipped in my head before I just fell...fell into this peace that made me numb...but it was that good kind of numb.The right kind of numb.The numb that I wanted to feel for ages.I rested on him with an empty mind as we just hugged and left those bad thoughts die.
Die....My mind flung to the word...die.I fooled myself, the thoughts weren't disappearing, no, in the contrary the void became bigger, deeper, blacker.The type of void that swallows everything whole, and once Todoroki left I was the one who got swallowed whole in that dark pit of hell.

Todoroki's POV
They say he's fine.He's not.I know he's not, so I stay outside his door when I leave early to find out if he really is fine.I press my ear to the door and immediately I smell a growing sourness in the air.His hormones were getting...how do I say it...strange.Like he was so hopeless and empty that he...that he.I open the door abruptly to see his hands clawing at his hair, his already pale skin going paler as he notices me.I almost storm up to him making him flinch.I hug him, hard, so hard its making him push me of him.We don't speak as we just look at each other with such confused eyes.

"Are you depressed?"I ask my throat tightening as I stare into his grass green eyes.
"I...maybe...probably...kind of....possibly....I think....yes..."he said, the last part in a whisper as he looked down."I don't want to go to a therapist...they won't help...they never do.."he says and my voice hitches as I try and comfort him or make him feel comfortable.
"Do you want to talk?You don't have to if you don't want to..."I start to say and his eyes go down before looking back up at me.
"I...no...I can't..not here...Not now...I..can you stay so..so I don't do anything.."he asks and my heart aches.I don't know how deep his dark feelings are, and I don't really want to...just as long as he stays with me I'm fine.But...right now I want him to be happy.So I suggest us watching some movies or talking.He goes for the movies and we end up watching some marvel movies, and keep the comedy.And we end up getting a few laughs in before passing out on the white sheets of his bed.But before I completely go to sleep I wrap my arms around his shoulders and snuggled my head against his.

God, I want him.I want him to be mine.

But even then, I still want to keep our friendship.Or maybe I don't want to be rejected, either way there's no way I'm telling him...at least not now.

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