Addicted Book 3: Life And Death[COMPLETED]

Chapter 19: "Leave, And Don't Be Here Whenever I Get Back."

~Kyjuan~
°Friday Morning°

11:28am

I woke up to Kalani crying just about 2 hours after going to bed after my ridiculously long overnight shift last night. Symphony was off today, and she peacefully laid right next to me.
I went into Kalani's bedroom and turned the light switch on and picking her up out of her crib.
"Daddy." She said with tears on her face and snot running down her nose.
"Oh, c'mere baby." I used my tshirt to clean her face and got her some cereal and juice in her small sippy cup. As she ate in her high chair, I got her some clothes out for the day and ran her a bath, putting her favorite toys in it.
I went back in the kitchen and sat witb her while she ate. She kept saying 'Daddy look!' and just eating normally.
"Mm so very yummy, make sure you eat it all so you can get big and strong, okay?" I said while kissing her forehead. She nodded her head and continued to eat.
I grabbed some fruit to snack on while she finished eating then took her into the bathroom to bathe her. I threw her pajamas inside her tiny hamper that was in the bathroom and washed her up and washed her hair after letting her play for a bit in the water, and even playing with her. I dried her off and towel dried her hair, combing it out for it to finish drying through the air. I got her dressed into her jeans, furry boots and a matching longsleeve turtleneck due to the weather at this time of year.
She followed me to her room as I laid out her blanket and put her toys down and turned on some cartoons for her, putting her walkee on a nearby dresser. I kept her door open but put a fence in the doorway so she wouldn't wander out of the room and possibly hurt herself getting into things around the house.
"I love you my sweet angel." I hugged her and kissed her forehead. She smiled and waved at me.
I proceeded to tidy the bathroom back up and start laundry. The house was usually spotless, so there wasn't much to do. I peeked outside through the living room curtains and saw Ang pulling into the driveway. She got out and began pulling bags from the back of the car. I went outside to help her.
"What's all this?" I asked, pulling bags out along with her.
"Good morning to you as well. Its just a few things for the house." She shrugged as we carried the bags along inside.
I wasn't too entirely sure how to read her right now. Last night she was really upset when I told her I'd be choosing Symphony, and she she acted as if nothing was wrong. Gosh, females are complex sometimes.
I helped her put everything up once everyone was inside, and by that time Symphony was awake.
"Hey baby." She grinned. I smiled at her, pulling her by the waist and gently kissing her warm, soft, and full lips. Her voice was soft, as it usually was when she just woke up from her sleep. Her wavy hair was in a messy bun and she wore fuzzy white socks, soft grey wool shorts, and an off the shoulder grey longsleeve shirt. She clung to my side and I rested my arm across her shoulders. I used my other hand to life her chin to look at me.
"Did you sleep okay?" I asked her, smirking at how beauty.
"Would've been a bit nice to wake up with you near my side but other than that everything is fine." She said sarcastically. "What are you doing up anyways? You just got home this morning you need to go to bed."
"Kalani was crying and I wanted to let you sleep. Ang just came back with some things from the store as well." I nodded toward the kitchen where Angelique brewed coffee with a hard and stern expression on her face as she usually would any time I was around Symphony nowadays.
"Oh okay." Symphony nodded. "Angelique how are you?" She smiled at her.
"Oh! I am doing great thank you for asking. How about you?" Angelique replied with a fake smile.
"Ugh, just tired. Thank you so much for everything, I really do appreciate it." She replied sincerely. Angelique nodded.
"Coffee?" She offered.
"God, yes!" Symphony moaned, letting go of me and going in the kitchen with her. As Symphony turned around to grab a cup from the cabinet Angelique looked me up and down and licked her lips, biting at them and smirking before turning back to what they were doing. Just in the nick of time before Symphony turned back around and poured a cup. I inhaled sharply, a bit frustrated, and turned and went to go Kalani a kiss in her bedroom. She had been absorbed into her cartoons, so I brought her into the living room.
"There's my baby!" Symphone said and brought Kalani into a hug.
"Moo-meee!" Kalani giggled as Symphony kissed all over her face. It warmed my heart seeing them interact every day. It uneased me as well....
It uneased me because of the thoughts and mental semi-breakdowns I would have on the inside due to mind flashes of things I've done recently that my love doesn't know about... and she never deserved it... and inside, I could never forgive myself. It was fun while it happened---constantly seeing the flashbacks of feeling my prior lover and what we'd done, seeing if things would be the same but... it's not. I could've gone about it better and I hate how I took away from Symphony and I over something like that, and I know she's noticed something was wrong with me. I just... didn't know what to do.
"I'm gonna take Kalani to the park, alright?" I said and got up, going to the bedroom and getting dressed before anyone could answer. I threw on a simple pair of sweatpants, sneakers and hoodie and dressed Kalani in a thick jacket and put her in her car seat.
"We'll be back in an hour or so." I said, walking toward the front door.
"Okay... have fun you guys." Symphony half grinned while sitting on the couch with Angelique. I nodded and headed out.
We drove about 10 minutes to the park and I stood and played with her while thinking about everything. The same torment replayed over and over in my mind. How could I be so stupid? Most of all, how would my children see me....