Addicted Book 3: Life And Death[COMPLETED]

Chapter 18: "I Can't Hurt Her Like This Anymore!"

~Angelique~
°Same Week, Thursday°

7:15pm

I was tired. Sore.
The aroma of marijuana drifted through the house as I entered the door to Kyjuan and Symphony's home. I had just gotten off of work, and there was only one car other than my own in the driveway.
"Hello, I'm back!" I called while taking off my jacket and taking off my shoes by the door.
"Back here!" Kyjuan's voice called. How I love the sound of his voice. I smiled and made my way toward my room and sat my purse on the dresser. He emerged into the room in a grey tank top and grey gym shorts. I looked at him through the mirror I was facing while trying to hide my smile then finally turned around and full on grinned, seeing his smile. We hugged tightly and he ran his fingers through my hair while pressing my head against his chest. His heartbeat was strong, his body warm. I tabbed his hands and looked up into his eyes.
"I missed you." I said.
"I missed you too. Was work okay?" He asked.
"Same old, same old." I shrugged and began getting undressed. He ran me a bath inside the bathroom that was right by the closet.
"Ah, I see." He said.
"What about you?" I asked.
"Same old, same old." He mocked. I rolled my eyes. "I have to go to work soon."
"Sounds very delightful." I said, coming into the bathroom naked as the tub was almost filled and had plenty bubbles. He ran his fingers down my thighs and kissed each of them before standing.
"Enjoy your bath." He said shortly. I sat I the relaxing water and shut my eyes.
"Have you been okay? You seem a bit off today." I squinted. He sat by the tub on a mini chair.
"Just.. thoughts, you know?" He shrugged.
"Like what?" I asked curiously.
"This... I don't... I don't know if we should be doing this anymore." He said quietly. My heart dropped.
"But...so are you saying you're not going to leave Symphony?" I frowned. "I thought we were getting back on track, Kyjuan!" My eyes began to sting.
"I know Angelique it's just been so mind boggling the past 2 weeks. It's been really killing me inside. I love you... but I also love her. And it's been killing me inside going to sleep every night knowing I'm not being faithful to her, Angelique it kills me. She's been so close to me since I was a little kid, I really love her." He sighed. A tear fell from my eye.
"So everything we've done, all of it means nothing anymore because it's not what you want? The cuddling, the venting, the sex every day, all the food you made for me, EVERYTHING?!" I cried.
"It does mean something don't get me wrong I just... I don't know, Angelique... I can't hurt her like this anymore!" He said desperately. "Believe me, its been great, even amazing feeling a bit of what we used to have. I just... I don't know." He said softly.
"You say you don't want to hurt her not realizing you already have." I crossed my arms and scoffed.
"I KNOW!" He shouted, making me jump. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I have and I don't know what to do."
"Well, she already noticed how different you at with her now. All I can tell you is that things are kind of fucked either way. If you don't tell her she'll just find out further down the line that you kept it from her. And if you tell her now, she'll feel dumb for even trusting you in the first place." I rolled my eyes. He dropped his face in his hands. "Look, just think on it some more. We've been doing so well Kyjuan... you promised me we'd get back together and you'd get rid of her when things started spicing up and I'm still just the girl on the sidelines." I added, irritated. He lifted his head as he heard the engine to Symphony's car pulling up. He sighed, got up, and walked out of my room. I sighed heavily and sank deeper in the water.