His Bodyguard (Boy x Boy)

I Love You So Much It Hurts!

After we held one another for what seemed to be a while... Taeyoung brought me to his car. I sat in the passenger seat quietly, not knowing where he was taking me.

But it didn't matter anymore. Not right now. I just wanted to be by his side...

When we were in a parking garage, Taeyoung walked over to help me out of the car. There was a familiarity about this place...

I followed him unquestionably... to his apartment.

Inside, I looked around... and the memories of that night flashed through my mind.

"You... should take a shower"

I looked over at Taeyoung and he chuckled. I wondered what I had looked like...

"You don't want to get a cold again right? I'll have some clothes for you when you finish..."

I nodded... accepting the offer for a hot shower.

While standing underneath the shower head, I couldn't help but think about the half-conscious man... would he be alright? Did they really bring him to the hospital?

After I showered, I wrapped myself in a towel. When I walked out into one of the bedrooms, I saw that Taeyoung had left a pair of pajamas for me..

After I slipped into them --although they were a little loose on me, I texted Hari to let her know that I would be staying over at a friend's place tonight. I held my phone to my lips after writing the message...

Would I really be staying here after our confessions?  Underneath the same roof as the man I just expressed my feelings to?! Get a grip Lee Hyunwoo...

I then walked out into the living room... I could hear the shower head turn off in the distance. He told me he had two finished bathrooms here and I could hardly believe it...

I waited for him, wondering what I should do next... my instinct was telling me to flee, but my heart wanted me to stay.

When I sat by myself, my phone jingled. I thought it was Hari but it was Jonghyun telling me that I needed to see him again tomorrow. I then came back to reality again... I shivered a little.

Why did that man have to go this far? Was he a sadist? Is it because of his selfishness... his anger?

I didn't want to know.

As much as I wanted to be happy with Taeyoung... this was still something I had to deal with. I couldn't live in this moment quite yet. Not while I had this mess.

After some more thought I came to the conclusion that it would be better to keep Taeyoung out of this. He was an upright businessman. He didn't need this gangster stirring up problems in his life. I would never let Jonghyun lay a hand on Taeyoung.

I heard Taeyoung emerge from the hallway. He was rubbing his wet hair with a small towel. He was also wearing casual pajamas. It almost looked like daily casual wear.

I didn't want him to sense there was anything wrong, so I tried putting a smile on my face.

"I have your room setup... you can rest there for the night."

"Alright," I then stood up and then it dawned on me. Curiosity sometimes got the better of me... "Oh... how did you know where I was?"

"Jihoon..."

"What?" how did he know Jihoon?

"Hmm well... do you remember when Minah and Jaehyung met your family? Minah exchanged phone numbers with your younger sister. Hari then told Jihoon about meeting your co-workers... so after Jihoon started noticing your odd behaviour he asked Hari for Minah's contact information... which led him to Joonki... which then led to me... I told Joonki to give Jihoon my contact information in case of an emergency, since you never talk about your personal affairs and then...

"...he messaged me in concern... when he said you were with Jonghyun, I immediately left my apartment. I went to the club, and saw you two leave and I followed after you..."

Everything was becoming clearer... even though it was sheer luck that it ended up the way it did. 

"It's a little late for these details... you should get some sleep" he then pat the top of my head.

Knowing how far he went for me... I felt like I owed him some part of the truth. Even if I was still planning on protecting him from this situation.

"You know... even though everything is a bit messy right now. There is a reason why."

"I have time..." Taeyoung took a hold of my hand and I smiled.

He then led me to the couch and I sat in front of him. I told him about Hari's condition. When she was diagnosed with Lupus two years ago and her trips in and out of the hospital that was hard on her body. When we reached a financial breaking point, little to our knowledge, Jihoon got an advanced loan from Jonghyun's company.

Six months later, when the interest started troubling Jihoon, I told Taeyoung about my altercation with his thugs.

"So... that's how you got that small cut on your lip?"

"Uh... yes..." so he did notice... "then... Jonghyun arranged for me to be a part of his security team at his club once a week... there was a bit of trouble here and there..."

"Your arm..." I could see discomfort and anger in his eyes as he pieced together a timeline...

"Yes... and then... well, let's just say I've had my share of James Bond adventures to last me a lifetime..." I could tell Taeyoung was ready to explode...

"Lee Hyunwoo... why--"

"It's my responsibility to shoulder the debt... and I'm just your Bodyguard..." in that moment, I stood up... I knew what I did wasn't righteous all the time... maybe that obligation could have gotten me killed and even... I turned to him and he was standing up as well. I think I let my emotions get the better of me. I should have just ended it after letting him know about Hari's condition and Jihoon's mistake.

But I forgot that this man was quick... he was attentive to me. He knew about those times I was hurt... and knowing Jonghyun's personality... shit...Lee Hyunwoo...

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I-- I think we should talk about this another time, Taeyoung..."

"I could have helped you. Money is no matter to me. Your safety and health is more important!"

"Taeyoung! I really don't want to take anything from you!" why did it have to escalate like this? I was so happy to know about his feelings but now it was falling apart at the seams.

"It's not about 'taking' anything away from me. There's nothing to take. I want to be here for you."

"It's not the same. This is different." Why couldn't I have put my foot in my mouth?

"It's the same, Hyunwoo"

"It's not like that! At the time I just didn't want something like this to link us together when you're my boss. I mean, now it's different but still..."

"But why?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt because of me!!"

I fucking said it... I said it. I held my forehead. Love really makes you impulsive.

"Lee Hyunwoo..."

"Just for tonight... I should leave..."

I started to walk away, but Taeyoung came running after me, holding me back. He held onto me tightly, hugging me from behind...

"Don't go..."

"Taeyoung... please... just let me go for now."

"How... how can I let it go?! When the person that's hurting in front of me is the one I'm in love with...how is it not my place to care?!" he then held me tighter re-affirming: "I love you...I love you so much it hurts."