Chapter 23

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"Is it okay for you if I go to that party Tim invited me?" It´s a very beautiful but also cold day in November and Harry and me are walking trough the towns park.

"Yes, sure. Is that tonight?" I ask Harry and he nods. His hand gribs my waist firmly and he already gave me his coat, but it´s still cold.

"You sure it´s okay for you if you´re alone again tonight? I already left you alone last weekend when I met my dad." Harry´s voice is raspy which is most likely because of  the low temperature. Although it´s always a strange feeling to fall asleep alone, I want Harry to have a good time.

"It´s totally okay for me." I smile at Harry and he stops infront of me and looks down at me. He softly smiles and his eyes still makes goosebumps on my skin. No matter how often he will look at me like that, it never changes the way it affects me and my body.

"I love you." He whispers and presses a kiss on my mouth. After that kiss he hugs me tightly and I nuzzle against his neck.

"I love you too."

...

A loud and sudden noise wakes me up from my peaceful sleep, although I never sleep that well without Harry. I quickly get up from the bed and open the bedroom door to find Harry stumble towards me.

"Oh god that party was awesome!" He screams and wants to hug me tightly but I make a step backwards.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you drunk?" I frown and rub my eyes. Harry chuckles but shakes his head.

"Sorry babe. Let´s have some fun, shouldn´t we?" He comes closer to me and presses me to the wall but I don´t want to. I don´t know if alcohol is the reason he´s like that but I´m sure as hell won´t have sex with him now.

"Stop that, Harry!" I spit and press my hands against his chest to keep him away from me.

"Oh come on, you´re so beautiful." Harry whispers and looks deeply in my eyes. Even though I haven´t turn on any light in our bedroom I see that he´s pupils are bigger than usual and he´s eyes are kind of red... that makes more sense now.

"Did you take drugs?" My voice is almost a whisper and I´m shocked... never in a million years did I think Harry would ever take drugs. I thought I knew him and he knows what my opinion is on drugs. Harry shakes his head and lets out a loud laugh. I quickly check the clock to see it´s almost 3 am.

"You took drugs." I say again but Harry only laughs harder. What the fuck is wrong with him? This Harry kind of scares me.. it´s not him. I want my usual Harry back. How could drugs have this effect on someone?

"Come on babe, sleep with me now." He presses his hips against mine and I feel his crotch against me.

"No what the fuck Harry! Why did you do this?" My voice is louder now and I almost scream at him.

"I only tried it once, everything is alright. Don´t worry." Harry whispers in my ear and presses kisses down my neck. Of course his touch always affects my body but I won´t do this in those state he is right now.

"No, Harry." I try to escape from him but he gribs my wrists tightly and of course he´s stronger than me.

"You know that I don´t like this. You know what my opinion is about that and I sure as hell won´t sleep with you tonight. Please just go to bed and leave me alone." I try to convince Harry but he won´t loosen his grib on me.

"We could have so much fun." Harry whispers but my eyes only widen.

"Harry please stop this now!" I don´t even know what to do or say anymore and when Harry´s hand goes under my t-shirt to cup my breasts, all I feel is disgust towards him. He´s stronger than me and if he really wants to sleep with me, I know I couldn´t fight against it, no matter how hard I would try. As he realizes I don´t even react in any way he steps back and his hands leave my breasts, but only to dug deeper in my waist skin. His eyes are darker than usual and he squeezes them shut tightly. His breathing goes heavier and he stares in my eyes.

"If you aren´t going to sleep with me now I will end our relationship." He says trough gritted teeth. My mouth opens lightly and my eyes widen again. What the hell happened to Harry? My Harry who loves me with all my heart and would never do anything like that? Not even drugs could do something like that to him, could they? I don´t know what to do and I don´t know what to say. Of course I don´t want him to end our relationship but I sure as hell don´t want to sleep with him.

"Please just go to bed and we´ll talk tomorrow, please." My voice is shaky and barely able to hear but I´m sure that Harry understands me.

"I´m serious." He tells me and my body flinches at his words. I shake my head. He can´t do this to me, or? This must be a bad dream. I know that Harry would never want to end our relationship because of something like that.

"Are you scared now?" His voice is still the same but his eyes are a bit softer now. His hands wander from my waist to my shoulders to hold me firmly. I don´t react in any way, I just watch him without any emotion. I´m sure he would regret everything tomorrow, if he remembers in any way. Do you remember things after you took drugs? Why did he even do that and how can that change the way towards me.

"Oh babe. Just let us sleep now together and I promise you not to leave you alone. You couldn´t live without me, right? Maybe you would try to kill yourself again. You wouln´t want this, wouldnt you?" He asks and I don´t even know if I hear right. No matter what would happen, but I wouldn´t try to kill myself again. I know what I live for and even though I would miss Harry, there could be a life without him.

"I would rather be without you than being forced to sleep with you when I clearly don´t want to and when you´re on drugs." I spit out and Harry raises his eyebrow. His hands leave my body and he steps back a few steps.

"Why didn´t you tell me earlier? I could have had fun with someone else... someone who appreciates me wanting to sleep with them. But the party is still going on and trust me there are some hot chicks." He tells me and steps out of the bedroom. I watch him as he leaves the flat with a loud sound when he shuts the door.

I just hope he doesn´t do the things he told me and everything will be alright tomorrow. I don´t know what to think. What was this and what will happen now?

(Hi! I´m sorry that this chapter is probably a little bit surprising but I needed to make my story more interesting again and I hope you like it!

I GOT TICKETS FOR THE OTRA TOUR AND I´M PROBABLY THE HAPPIEST GIRL ALIVE!

Alright, I wish you all a nice weekend I hope you´re doing fine :)

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