Chapter 42

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"You're kidding me." I chuckle as I look that man deep in the eyes, but he shakes his head. What?

"I'm very sorry." He says again and anger suddenly hits me. I ball my fists and I just have to press that guy to the wall.

"You fucking let her die?" I scream at him. Lucy was so strong, I'm sure she would have make it if they would have done their best. Kathrin takes one of my wrists in her head and even though she's nice, she's quite strong.

"Harry, please stay away from him. It's not his fault." She tells me. I take one step backwards but my breathing just goes faster. I would love to just die as well. Or maybe this is all just a nightmare.

"Let me see her." I say and Kathrin and that man nod at me. I quickly run into the bathroom, to see Lucy still laying on the floor. There are still some people around her, but I block them out. Lucy still looks the same, like I've left her earlier. There is just a blanket wrapped around her body now. I kneel down next to her and touch her skin. Her body is still warm, she is alive.

"Hey baby. Just open your eyes again, yeah?" I whisper in her ear.

"Bring her to the hospital!" I scream to the people around me, but they don't answer me.

"Are you fucking deaf? I said bring her to the hospital! Don't you see that she's still alive?" I scream at them even louder, some of them are shaking their head. A man kneels down next to me and gently touches my shoulder, but I immediatly give it away.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. We really did everything we could." He tells me but I roll my eyes.

"But her body is still warm." I whisper. Lucy can't be dead. She's so beautiful. Her closed eyes and her dark eyelashes... it just seems like she's sleeping. Only that I just recognized that her thorax isn't moving anymore, she's not breathing.

"That's normal. She soon will get more pale and her skin will get cold in a few minutes." That man softly tells me but I don't want to hear it.

"I love you so so much. Always and forever." I say and lay my head on her thorax. Her beating hard was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life, but that sound doesn't exist anymore. I take her hand in mine, not sure how long I'm allowed to do this, to touch her like that. I'm so sure that she knows that I'm here. I suddenly know how Lucy must have felt when her mother died. I've never felt that much pain, it's unbearable. There's so much pain I feel, but there's not even a tear that leaves my eyes. Probably because I can't believe it... I will never believe it and I don't even want to. I will never love someone as much as I love Lucy.

Lucy's dad suddenly storms into the bahroom. His eyes are wide and he instantly kneels down next to us as he sees his daughter. His dead daughter.

"God, how did I deserve this? Losing my wife and my one and only daughter? What have I done wrong?" He yells and that hits me so hard. He lost everything he ever had... did Lucy ever thought about him? I can't blame her though, I won't ever do this. It was her decission.

"There's nothing you did wrong." It's the only thing I can tell him. It's not his fault and it must be so hard for him. I should wish him my condolence, but there's nothing I can say right now. Lucy's dad is crying now, touching her hair and shaking her, which looks a little bit painful. But she won't feel it anyway.

"We need to call the undertaker now, to pick her up. Are you okay with that? You both can still stay by her side for some time." Kathrin suddenly tells us after several minutes. I didn't even realize that she came here and as I look around I realize that most of the people are gone. So that's it now. My baby girl couldn't be saved.

I nod my head but stay by Lucy's side the whole time. I can't imagine being away from her. I suddenly realize that me and Lucy's dad have lots to do, like organising the funeral. Just the thought of it makes me want to vomit. I understand Lucy so well now. I won't go there.

As the undertaker comes, I just have to get up and leave the bathroom. I can't watch it. I remember the letter I should give to his dad and Lena, so I open the bedroom. I immediatly see the letters laying on her bedside table. I can't sleep without her, in this huge bed. This bed was made for two.

I don't want to stay in our flat, I guess I will get a new flat soon. Everything here reminds me of Lucy.

As I get closer to the letters, I also see one with my name on it. Gosh, I love her handwriting. It's horrible to think about calling Lena, Lucy's best friend and tell her what happened. It's horrible to think about ever leading a normal life. I don't want to go to school and see all of those people I hate. I don't want to live a life without Lucy.


(I know you've all been waiting for this update - sorry that it took me that long. School is just horrible right now, my final exams are soon!!!

Well, I hope you all like that chapter. Give me some feedback, please. Lots of love x.)

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