Bullied 2 (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 3

"You should tell him that you found out." My therapiest tells me and I nod. I know Mrs. Brown for more than one year now and she does an amazing job. She became not only my therapiest but also a very good friend to me.

"I know that I should tell him but I know it would make him angry that I checked his Facebook. I´m usually not that type of girlfriend who would control his boyfriend.. this isn´t me." I sigh. I´m glad that I got an appointment only a few days later I called Mrs. Brown but it was also hard acting normal towards Harry, although I´m sure that he knows I´m not alright, but I guess he thinks it´s because of Lena.

"Yes of course, but imagine if you won´t tell him now but he will find out later... your relationship will be built on lies and you don´t want that, right? You better be honest with him." I know this and I don´t want to run away from something which I can´t. Harry is the most important person in my life and I don´t want to ruin this.

"Of course I don´t want this, but I´m still hurt that Harry didn´t tell me about it. I thought he would be absolutely honest to me and it´s just... a very sad and angry feeling." I explain.

"I think he only wants to protect you and that´s why he didn´t tell you. He wants that you´re happy, Lucy." I let out a deep breath. This situation bothers me completely... it shouldn´t but it does.

"Yes I know.. I will talk with him about it." I promise Mrs. Brown. I just have to and running away from my problems never helps.

"And what about the group? How do you feel about it that they are talking about you like that?" My therapiest asks me and I shrug my shoulders.

"It hurts.. it hurts a lot but I´m kind of used to it.. I just don´t get it at all." A few tears are escaping my eyes again but I have to hold myself together. I know that I shouldn´t hide my feelings but I still don´t want crying infront of others.

"Lucy, you know what they are doing... this is cyberbullying and you could go to the police with it. You don´t have to handle with it." My heart starts to beat faster and my hands are getting sweatier... I never thought about actually going to the police because of that. Surely, I knew that this is cyberbullying in a way but going to the police gives me a strange feeling.

"I don´t know if I could really do this... I guess they don´t know what they are doing and I don´t want that they get in troubles. What they do is wrong but they didn´t even send it to me in personal.. they are writing this in a group I´m not even in." I try to explain.

"You sound like you want to apologize for them. You have to realize that this isn´t okay. I´m only your therapiest and I can´t force you to do anything but if you want to go to the police I could help you." She smiles at me and I can´t help but smile back.

"Thank you. I will think about it." Mrs. Brown nods and there´s a silence between us for a few seconds.

"What about the cutting and your suicide thoughts? How do you feel now? Are they back because of what you found out?" She asks me and I shake my head.

"No... I wouldn´t hurt myself again. I´m over it and I wouldn´t do something stupid. It´s fine." I tell her.

"It´s good that you wouldn´t do something like this again but are you thinking about cutting and hurting yourself?" I sigh.

"I´m doing good for most of the time but there are days where thoughts like this come back but I can deal with it." I tell her.

"How do you deal with it?" Mrs. Brown asks me.

"Most of the time I write it down in my diary.. sometimes I do sport or I even flick a ribbon against my wrist, but only in real hard days."

"It´s very good that you´ve found your way dealing with this situation and if you carry on like this I can promise you that it will get better day by day and that you´ll be healthy again soon." Mrs. Brown words bring a big smile on my face.. this is exactly what I wanted to hear.

"Thank you.. I hope that will be very soon." Mrs. Brown nods and takes a sip from her water.

"You can be very proud of yourself, Lucy. You´re doing the best you can and you don´t need to rush yourself. You have all the time you need for getting better and there are a lot of persons who will always support you... by the way, are you talking to people about your thoughts when you´re having a hard day to deal with?" Mrs. Brown serious face changing from a smile to a frown brings back my nervousness.

"No, not really. I don´t really like talking about those feelings. I´m afraid my parents or Harry will think I will do something stupid again if I have thoughts like this. The only person I talk to about it is Lena, because she knows what it feels like." Mrs. Brown nods.

"It´s good that you talk with Lena about it but I´m sure that you could talk with others too. Your parents and Harry would understand you better if you would tell them about your thoughts. It may be strange and a new situation for you but you should try it at least." She is right... they can´t help me if they don´t know about it.

"Yeah that´s true.. I guess I will try it once." Mrs. Brown looks down at her watch and smiles at me.

"Our time is over now. How about you come again in two weeks? You can phone me if you need anything. Also think about the things I told you." We both stand up and she shakes my hand.

"I will, thank you." I leave the door and I´m very glad that I came here. I feel so much better now. I will talk with Harry now and then we´ll see what happens next. Oh god... the feeling of telling Harry that I checked his Facebook gives me a very strange and nervous feeling. I should have told him beore or I never should have checked it at all. But that doesn´t help me now and I want our relationship to be strong and honest.

(Hi! I hope you all still like the story... it´s only the beginning of "Bullied 2" but I have maaaanyy new ideas for the story and I hope you still like to read it :)

Please give me some feedback!! It´s always a very nice feeling if someone is voting or commententing on your story!! Thank you all so much for everything!!

My holidays are over in two weeks and school will be very stressful again but until that I will try to update as much as possible. Hope you´re all doing fine - love you x)