Romangst || A Sanders Sides One-Shot Compilation

Not Alright

HEYYYY GUYS!!! This one's from a request from our wonderful SidesOfDepression and its just a wonderful angst fest. Fun to write, as well, as I love writing the characters the way I did in this fic! Thanks for the request!

WARNINGS: angst, self-hatred, self-deprecation, deceit, sympathetic deceit? (maybe?), self-deprecation being true (to an extent?? IDK maybe not), food mention, SAD ENDING

That sounds fun, huh? off we go!!!

"I'm not feeling any love, or misery because it's a mystery for me alone!"

"I'm not feeling any love."

"I'm not feeling any love."

The words echoed in Roman's head as the statement was ignored. As he was ignored. Denied information about Thomas - who he was a part of. How didn't he know? How did he not know what was going on with Thomas? He let himself be distracted, thinking it possible to fill the aching void in his heart.

And then his world became dark.

It was Remus, he found when he'd woken. And they'd solved the problem without him, and Remus told Thomas he didn't need Roman. Roman tried his best to hide his pain, like he always did, making metaphors and grand gestures. He sank out before Thomas could stop him, shoulders falling as soon as he reached his room.

They never noticed. Not anymore. He would slip up - say something showing his pain - and no one cared.

"The one and lonely."

And after filming, he'd been alone once again.

Lonely.

He felt so incredibly lonely.

Roman gasped, sinking to his knees as his chest seemed to rip open with the pain. No one cared. They didn't. All his hard work, all the time he'd spent trying to be a prince. Confident, suave, perfect, secure, wasted.

Thomas knew about Remus, now. He knew what Roman could have been - what he'd been hiding all this time. Thomas was important. Roman's eyes burned with tears and he held back a sob.

Thomas was so much more important than he was. Roman knew that. Roman wasn't real - he was just a piece. A piece of the Thomas puzzle and he couldn't do this anymore.

Thomas was so confused, trying to figure himself out, and Roman was just making it harder. Like the puzzle was a fire truck, but he was a bright blue piece right in the center. Hiding. Making everything worse for everyone around him.

And they didn't care. Roman knew they didn't.

What did he have to hide, now?

Nothing.

Roman stumbled to his bed, collapsing into the blankets with a soft sob.

He had nothing to hide - so why hide nothing?

He fell asleep, troubled.

And when he woke up, he stopped hiding it.

Time Skip Brought To You By a Trapezoid 

"Wow, you look awful." Virgil teased when Roman shuffled into the kitchen. Roman hummed, grumbling something under his breath as he opened the fridge. Virgil raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"I'm still a piece of garbage." Roman sang softly, pulling out a Tupperware container and opening it, sniffing slightly. Virgil smirked at the reference, rolling his eyes.