I was reading some of my most recent entries and I asked myself, "what the hell am I doing??"
Why am I so depressed?? Why am I so sad??
This is ridiculous! I shouldn't be this upset. Yes. I love him. Yes he doesn't love me anymore. And yes he's rude to me and probably hates me.
But you know what? That's his damn problem. He made his choice, and now its time to make mine. Its time to wake up from this haze I've been living in.
There's nothing I can do to change what happened, and I need to accept that and move on. He has, so why shouldn't I?
Besides, lies aren't really my thing.
And anyway, I've been asked out by 5 or 6 guys but I wouldn't let myself consider any of them due to the emotional suffering I was going through.
But now, I realize that nothing is stopping me.
I know now who I can and can't trust with my heart, and I think I'm going to take one of them up on their offer.
We've dated before a few times, and I know that I can trust him to love me. We talked all night, and I think I'm making the right decision.
He promised to be there for me, and i believe him. We might even still be dating had I not made a split second decision. I want this one to work, and I think it will.
He doesn't live near me, but he always wants to talk to me and honestly, he's been so patient and sweet and supportive.
Why should I punish him for someone else?
I shouldn't. My ex made his decision, and yeah it hurts like hell, but I can get better with this guy. He listens to me and he's amazing.
All I have to say is that I hope my ex is happy with the decision he made and that he hangs on to this girl he's dating. She's sweet.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I think its time for me to be happy again.
