I'm Sorry (Watty Nominated 2019)

24.

Chapter 24
Nikolai King

The next week was all a blur.

I woke up in hospital to the detectives from Amelia's case hovering over me.

They questioned me, they told me I could go to jail because I was intoxicated when i made the accident.

I told them I didn't care.

But I didn't tell them that it wasn't an accident.

But one thing I knew they agreed with me on is the fact that a monster like him was better off dead.

My arm was broken, and so was my foot. Apparently, I was lucky to make it out of the car without a serious injury. The doctors said if I hadn't been wearing a seatbelt then I'd have ended up like Hunter.

Dead.

His parents came to see me.

Hunter's parents.

I thought they would be angry, but I was shocked to hear them say that they wouldn't press charges. They looked like they were suffering and I asked them why they wouldn't want me to be punished for killing their son and his mother answered me. Her answered didn't come as a surprise.

"Its better this way."

"You would prefer him dead?" I asked, trying to sound surprised.

"People like him; they're dangerous. And he destroyed that girl's life." Her voice was broken and her grey eyes were filled with tears as she took my hand. I let out a bitter laugh as I looked at her.

Her husband turned and left the room. He didn't come back because he knew what I would say next.

"You don't get it, Mrs Willis. He didn't just do it once." I said, my eyes meeting hers. "Why do you think she killed herself? I left her alone for twenty minutes and he..." I trailed off, shutting my eyes, but she seemed to realise what I was getting at and I heard her lose it.

I looked over at her and she completely broke down.

"He was a monster! I never thought I would hate my own son, and yet here I am!" She sobbed, before she looked at me and shot me a dark smile. "I was..raped..when I was younger. Hunter, he knew. I told him how..how it destroyed me, how hard it was to keep going each day. And, that's why I can't..ever, forgive him for doing this...for destroying her..she didn't deserve it. Nobody does."

She left after that and Amelia's parents came a few times, along with my dad to come and see me. The few weeks I had to stay in hospital went by in a blur and I returned to school just in time for finals. Tyler and I tried to help each other study and we both applied to the same universities and colleges. He became my best friend in the weeks after Amelia's death and it became difficult not having him around, because as time went on; everyone began to forget her. But Tyler was the only one who remembered.

We both applied to Yale as a first choice because that's where Amelia wanted to go.

We both got accepted.

And it wasn't hard leaving this town. Amelia wasn't here, she was gone and there was no point in staying here without her. Connecticut was far from here but it was probably for the best. I kept Amelia's diary with me, and I would reread her last entry over and over. She was still fresh in my mind and I prayed to God that I could turn back the clock and save her. I wouldn't have left her alone, or maybe gotten to her house sooner. I felt the familiar ache as I walked up the driveway to her house.

I knocked on the door, and her mom opened the door and smiled at me.

"Hey, stranger." She said and I smiled.

"Hey, is Amelia home?" The words left my mouth before i could stop them and her mom's face fell, tears building up in her eyes the same time the burning pain came rushing back and I covered my face.

I felt an arm wrap around me and I looked up. Amelia's mom shot me a smile through the tears.

"Hey, it's okay. Come in." She said, her voice uneven, and then she led me inside. I sat down on the couch and she sat down next to Amelia's dad opposite me. I thought back to the first time I came here, and I tickled Amelia on this couch and I could barely breathe when I could still hear her laughter fresh in my mind.

"Son, are you okay?" Her dad asked, his blue eyes watching me in concern. "What brings you here?" He asked and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"I..uhm.." I ran my hands through my hair. "I came to tell you that I'm going to Yale. Amelia wanted to go there, and I am going to make that dream a reality for her. She wanted to do a literature course so she could write. I'm doing the same course." I said, forcing a smile through the tears that were now freely rolling down my face. "Tyler too. We'll be leaving in the morning."

Her mother was crying now and her dad had tears streaking his cheeks. He leaned forward and clasped my shoulder.

"You have no idea how much that means to us. We're proud of you." And he glanced back at his wife. She was smiling through the tears.

"Amelia would be so happy." She said and then she leaned in and pulled me in for a hug, her motherly scent filling my senses. "Be safe, Nikolai. And please, come back to visit. You're always welcome here." She kissed my cheek and I left after that.

Tyler and I took a cab to the airport the next morning and we boarded the plane. I settled into the seat, and once the plane was in the air, my mind flashed back to Amelia again, and for the millionth time I heard her beautiful voice telling me she loved me. I felt her fingers caressing my skin, and I closed my eyes, falling asleep to the feeling of her that only now existed in my dreams.

° [T H E - E ND] °

A/N: The book has finally come to an end. Thank you guys for voting and commenting on the book, and for staying for the journey. There has been alot of ups and downs in this book, and it dealt with a lot of dark matter.

There are alot of people who have to experience what Amelia experienced everyday. They have to look in to the face of their rapist, and they have to be tortured constantly. They have to live in fear, always have to be afraid of their own shadow. They have to deal with mental illnesses and they feel like they have no way out.

My book does not promote suicide, or self harm and neither does it promote rape. This book is meant to make people aware of the harsh reality we have to live in everyday and the horrors many young men and woman have to go through in their own high schools or universities; in their own families.

Don't ever be afraid to speak out against sexual violence or to help someone who is being bullied, who clearly is suffering from mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Sometimes just befriending someone is enough to give them a little hope, to change their life, to stop them from spiralling into the dark places of their minds and losing themselves.

I hope this book was more than just an emotional rollercoaster and actually helped and spoke to readers as more than just a fictional work.

Again, I would like to thank all you lovely people for not giving up on the book and continuing to read.

And, stay tuned; you might just be getting a surprise book on Nikolai in the next few days/weeks. *wink wink* Leave a comment if you want another book on Nikolai. I will not delve into the content of the book, it is a surprise. 😌

Lots of Love
-Jesse