1. Hark Back To...🦋

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I gripped on the corner of that broken photo-frame so hard that the broken cover glass pierced into my hand deeply without causing any pain . Crimson innocent blood slowly started to drip from the shallow cut of my hand. I felt so dead that nothing but the thumping counter-current of my blood in my whole body was reminding me that I was still alive. The air around me smothered my breathing and I clenched my fingers on that photo frame as the blood was tickling at my feet. The funny thing was I wasn't feeling any pain from the open wound because the raw, unbearable pain of my heart was a million times more painful than the cut on my hand.

My eyes became hazy as I slowly looked at my hand drenched with blood and slumped on the chair, as my whole world crumbled down, just right in front of me with a simple 'yes'. I stared blankly at the broken photo-frame on the table, as I slowly started despising every single moment of my last year.

~*~*~*~*~*One year ago...*~*~*~*~*~*

I closed the lid of the cupboard box after carefully placing the last remaining book inside of it and sealed it with some tape. After I was done I looked at my tiny little room. I took my time because that would be most probably the last time for me to be there and believe me I already started to miss my room terribly. After all, I spent my whole childhood in that room. And actually not only my room, that house, that picturesque town and all of those lovely people of that town who were nothing but like a family to me.

I sighed deeply. From that moment everything would change. From that moment my life would flow without them. Without everything I was familiar with.

I was moving out with my family. To London.

I was accepted to my dream university in London, which was my lifelong dream. And it finally came true.

My acceptance letter came last month and since then I felt like I was dreaming. The day my acceptance letter came I cried with happiness for what felt like countless hours because all my hard work finally paid off. I was very happy, excited, nervous, and sad all at the same time about the new life which reached out it's hand to me. It was not like I was a shy type of person, I mean I could easily get myself mixed with the new environment but still, a lugubrious feeling was pulling into my guts, about the thought of separation from my old life.

I had properly planned everything long for that specific day, but everything seemed messed up by my jumbled emotions.

I got up and slowly walked to the french window of my room. From my window I could clearly see our backyard garden, which was almost empty. Every summer I used to decorate that little garden with lots of different radiant colours of seasonal flowers. When I was only ten years old, I planted an apple tree, an apricot tree at the two end corners of the garden and a cherry tree between them. Right at that moment, they were covered with pretty dazzling flowers, which would be replaced by plenty of fruits in no time. I had a few expensive rose plants which I dug up and gave them to Eva, my best friend.

I looked at the park just behind our garden, where I spent all of my childhood. Full of nothing but vivid colorful memories. I could still remember all the happy and cheerful things that had happened to me in that park. When dad taught me to ride my pink bike without stabilisers, my classmate Steph disturbed a hive which was nested peacefully just the lowest branch of the peach tree, with a twig and we ran screaming all the way back home when those angry bees started attacking us for disturbing them. A light chuckle came out just remembering that silly incident.

My smile faded away as my eyes landed on the cement bench at the end side of the park, which was the dedicated memorial of Peter, one of my school friends.

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