A Dead Girl

Chapter 10 Goodbye.

Today is Saturday meaning I've hit the deadline. I felt numb to all emotion knowing this is it.

"Good morning Scarlett here's your pills"

I took the pills without saying a word.

"Are you ok"

"Sure"

"Are you sure"

"Yeah"

"Well ok call if you need anything"

Then my counselor walked in and we started my counseling session.

"So how's it been Scarlett"

"Fine"

"Has your anxiety been ok lately"

"Yeah"

"Anything in particular you want to talk about"

"No"

"Ok. So I hear Wendy left, how are you handling it"

"Fine"

"You were friends right?"

"I guess"

"That night you saw Wendy"

I pictured Wendy on that stretcher being rolled out but I couldn't feel anything.

"Yeah"

"Are you sure your ok"

"I'm fine just tired"

"Talk to me please, I know somethings up, your usually very defensive and right now your just..."

"I'm just what" I said very calmly.

"Your not yourself and I want you to tell me what's wrong"

"We've already been through this a thousand times"

"Well this make one thousand one"

I signed and started talking trying to make it short.

"I was abused for most of my life, my dad died, CPS took me to a foster home, I tried to kill myself twice..." I stopped for a minute and thought about what I just said.

"Wow I really tried to kill myself twice but failed each time....third times a charm" I whispered to myself. I don't care if she hears me.

"Third times a charm, are you planning on trying it again"

"Why do you care?"

"Because life is precious and valuable, your life is worth something to so many people, your sisters, your-"

"STOP" I breathed in heavily. "Stop, ok, I'm nothing, I'm worthless. I love my sisters and I know they love me but I can't do this right now ok, I don't need to be in this stupid hospital and I don't need you to ask me me all these damn questions, so I'm leaving, and just like that I got up and left.

*****

At lunch Nurse Jamie got me the food and went over the rules again.

"And lastly you can't go to the bathroom for at least 30 minutes after you eat"

"Ok"

I began eating like it was nothing, with a straight face.

"Are you sure your ok"

Since it was my last day I decided there was no need to keep secrets.

"To be honest no."

"Talk to me"