Hi, my name is Caitlyn Shaffer. This is my journal. Inside it contains all of the emotions I've been experiencing lately. Some are good, some are bad. Yeah, mostly bad. Anyway, this is my story.
This is for people who suffer from or have suffered fr...
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Now I'm not really sure who to write this about. There were several men in my life who only loved me when it was convenient. So I guess I'll write about both of them. This first one was apart of my life for a little less than a year. He and I became fast friends after I did a solo for one of my choir concerts my junior year in high school. And then a few months later, We were together. I was happy. I thought he was too. In the beginning, We were in the honeymoon stage. We were obsessed with each other. Always writing little notes to each other and always joined at the hip. Then the relationship started to progress. We had gotten more serious. This meant getting into more fights. We fought a lot. We even broke up for a few days. But when we decided we couldn't be without each other, We were back together. And we just kept fighting from there. I loved you. But you only loved me... Sometimes. When it was convenient. When you decided you had time for me. You blamed everything on me. And then turned around and loved me again. You wasted so much of my time. So much that I realized you were no good for me. And I disappeared. You blamed that on me too. Then there was the second one. This one I met more recently, and am still talking to. We met three months ago, At a job interview. Yes, You were my boss. You ARE my boss. You kept it professional for a short while, But then you started to flirt with me. Make me feel things, Even though it was wrong, And I knew it. You told me I was beautiful and that you would do anything to have me. But you weren't mine to have in the first place. You already belonged to another woman, Who's child you had planted inside of her. How could I become apart of something so sinful? I fought you, For so long. But I caved. And I wish I hadn't. Because now you only love me when you feel like it. You only want me when the little man in your pants tells you you want me. And that's the sickest part. I'm nothing to you but a body. You don't care about my brain or my beauty. You only care about what's under my clothes. And for a while, I was okay with it. Because you looked at me different when you loved me. Like I was someone special. But now I'm not so sure. I feel like it's wrong. Like I shouldn't let you use me the way you do. Like I'm too strong to be someone's side piece. But I can't help it. Being underneath you, Sweaty and clothesless. Feels better than looking at you like a stranger again.
