Hi, my name is Caitlyn Shaffer. This is my journal. Inside it contains all of the emotions I've been experiencing lately. Some are good, some are bad. Yeah, mostly bad. Anyway, this is my story.
This is for people who suffer from or have suffered fr...
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Every single day I find myself Remembering the beginning. The way you used to be. The man you used to be. Well, maybe not a man. You were never a man. Not in my eyes. Your age, and your actions Showed me you were nothing but a child. A child that made me fall so deeply and so madly in love I let you tear me apart. I keep finding myself remembering who you were. You were so loving. So gentle. So kind. Your touch sent vigorous vibrations throughout my entire body. The very sound of your deep brass voice sent waves through my core. You were so sweet to me. You made me feel like a person. You made me feel okay. In the beginning, you said the sweetest things. You made me feel more complete than I had in a while. But maybe that was the problem. You only said things. You never did things. You decided that only telling me how much you "adore" me would hold me over so you wouldn't have to show me how much you really care. But one thing you don't know about me The sweetness in your words will only keep it's hold on me for so long Before the ice from your bittersweet melodies Melts my entire being Making me see who you truly are. You never loved me. You used me. You just didn't want to be alone. Well maybe I didn't want to be alone either. And that's why you were perfect. But when the sweetness disappeared And the all too familiar pain started coming back I knew it was over. Your bittersweet melodies died, And became a hateful, cruel torture that I could not have foreseen in you. Never in a thousand years Did I ever think you would harm me like this. But when your words turned cold, and you felt no remorse toward it, I knew I'd lost you. And maybe that wasn't for the worst. Maybe it was good that you're gone. But it's been weeks since we've spoken And I can't stop thinking about you. I keep finding myself thinking back to that first day. Your words. Your eyes. Your touch. All left me breathless. I never, ever knew you were capable of torture like this. I don't love you. I don't miss you. I just miss the man, No. The person you used to be...
