Hi, my name is Caitlyn Shaffer. This is my journal. Inside it contains all of the emotions I've been experiencing lately. Some are good, some are bad. Yeah, mostly bad. Anyway, this is my story.
This is for people who suffer from or have suffered fr...
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You hate it when I drink. You hate that I drink so often. It's because I'm under-age. And it's not that I want to drink all the time. I don't. I really really don't. I want nothing less than to be like my alcoholic father, But what am I to do When the buzz I feel from these wine-filled glasses Makes me feel more at home than you ever have. What am I supposed to do When your name hurts to speak But downing a bottle feels more comfortable to me than anything. Only because it numbs the pain. You don't see what you're doing. You're oblivious. I suppose it's not your fault. You're a boy. Boys are always oblivious to the pain they cause. But it's not an excuse. And I'm not justifying you acting like a jerk. But you've hurt me More times than I care to admit. It's my fault really, For falling in love with someone I have no chance with. With someone who gets all the girls. And when you've got all the girls, what makes me so special? I'm nothing. Compared to her. I'm nothing. Compared to anyone you're speaking to. I mean, why would anyone fight for me? I'm nothing special. I never have been. And just when I thought I found someone who was different. I'm proven wrong every time. So yes, I'm downing another bottle, Just to forget that I'm still nothing to you. Just another notch in your belt, I guess.
