CHAOS

10 - The Lost

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Lennox POV

"And what worse, your back one day and you're already whoring yourself out to my best friend!"

That was it. I'd messed up. Already. Maddox would ask me to leave for sure.

I've disappointed him. I always do.

But I can't help admit that I enjoyed it.

I'd enjoyed the closeness of another being, for the first time in what seemed like forever I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to take away my pain and make me forget.

I'd never felt that with anyone before, not even my brother.

Chaos helped me when I couldn't help myself. He comforted me and helped me sleep. He fought off my demons.
Maddox would never truly understand what Alejandro and his men did to me. I'd never tell him anyway, all he cares about is his stupid club and his brothers, not about his stupid little sister who can't help but get herself in trouble.

From his words I was transported back to the cold room I once lived in. I saw every face of the men I had to please flash behind my eyes in an instant.
Every moment I spent vulnerable to the lowest forms of so called men who used my body for their gain. Played with my mind and tore away everything I had left, just for sex.

These men took me from my home, killed my family, and made my brother think I was dead. I was left in that cell for years wondering what my life would have been like if my parents were stills around and if I hadn't been taken. Would have I been good enough for High School? Would have I attended a good university? Would u have friends?

They erased me from the world like I was nothing. Because I wasn't anything to them. Just a toy.

So I did what I knew best, I disappeared.

Before any other words were spoken, I threw the thick duvet over me and ran past my brother and out of the door.
I heard Chaos arguing and fighting with my brother, defending me I suppose but why would he care. I'm just a whore.

Closing my eyes I was back in that cell, in the hands of Alejandro and his hench men. Chained to the wall like a dog.

Ready to be used by them.

Not knowing where I was going I ran blindly through the club house until I reached the dining hall.
Upon my arrival Emily and Erik stood, instantly worried when they saw my tears.
"Sweetie what's wrong?" she asked calmly.
She inched towards me, letting go of Erik's calloused hand, trying to bring me into her embrace.

I don't deserve her affection.
I'm too broken.
So I said nothing and bolted for the front door, out into the world alone.

"Lennox, Lennox come back here!" I heard someone shout in the distance.
But I kept going.

Eventually I found a safe place, away from watching eyes, away from my brother and his men and his stupid club.

Just me against the world like it's always been.
I shouldn't have come I screamed to myself, pulling on my long hair.

I shouldn't have come back with him, I thought while clawing on my arms, watching as deep red marks etched their way down my pale skin. I should have ended it while I had the chance.

Tears made their way down my flushed cheeks as I crouched in the dark corner of the small sanctuary I'd found.
I belong in the dark, where no one can see me. Where no one knows what I did for Alejandro.
All I was and all I ever will be is a whore to the men in my life. As if it were branded into my cold skin.