when the party's over ~fransykes~

Chapter 15

Josh's POV:

"Joshua! I refuse to let you stay off school any longer! You are going to school!" My father yelled, banging on my bedroom door harshly. I flinched at the sound, jumping up in my bed and pulling the bedsheets around my head. I reach up to cradle my forehead, felling it thumping against my palm as my headache only grew stronger.

"Finee." I whined loudly, hoping that my father would leave me alone if I agreed to go to school.

I hadn't been to school in 2 weeks and honestly all I had done in that time was sleep, occasionally eat and cry . Pathetic, I know but I've never felt this low in my life. This wasn't even about Oli anymore, this was about me.

I was stuck in my head thinking of all the reasons why someone would just abandon me like some useless toy; play with me until they eventually got bored of me and left me alone with no one. It made me feel like shit. Worthless shit.

I gradually pulled myself out of bed, tumbling off the side of the mattress and onto the floor. I groaned at the impact. Fucking hell, that was defiantly going to leave a bruise tomorrow.

It took me another 5 minutes to find the will to get myself up off the floor. The feeling of the carpet pushed up against my tear stained cheek was extremely inviting right about now, even if it was slightly uncomfortable. I wouldn't even be able to count the number of hours I had spent lying in this exact position over the last couple of weeks, wishing my life away slowly.

Matt had tried to see me a couple of times; bombarding my phone with texts and banding on my door until his knuckles bruised. I felt kind of bad for him, he was trying to be a good friend and what did I give him in return? Fucking nothing.

I never picked up any of his calls, replied to his texts or let him into my room. I just stayed silent, slumped in the corner of my room as he tried to get through to me.

I honestly didn't deserve Matt, he was such a great friend. If I had just listened to him in the first place none of this would have happened. He tried to warn me about Oli and I didn't listen. He was just trying to be a good mate and I pushed him away, being my normal arrogant twat self and letting some boy control what I did over what I should have done.

On the subject of Oli, he had tried to see me multiple times as well, each one resulting in me either completely ignoring him or yelling at him until he left. The first time he came round was 1 week ago today; he threw stones at my window in the middle of the night. I ignored him and almost 2 hours later he finally gave up and went home. Another time he left flowers on my door step anonymously with a letter saying he was sorry. I knew it was from him though, it was his handwriting and smelt sort of like his aftershave like he had put some on there especially to remind me of his smell.

I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't read that note at least a hundred times over that day.

Bringing myself back into reality, I grabbed my uniform, towel and headed to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and turned on the shower. I waited until the entire room was full of thick steam before I began to strip off. Stepping into the shower, I automatically began to feel the hot water burning my cold skin.

I had lost quite a lot of weight recently, going from having a small amount of baby fat to virtually none at all. Quite the opposite actually; you could now see my ribs clearly as well as my hip bones. My cheek bones stood out against my face and my eye sockets had long sunken into dark circles.

Not wanting to look at my body any longer and feeling somewhat satisfied with my cleanliness, I stepped out of the shower and quickly dried off myself. I wrapped the towel around my waist and sat down on the edge of the bathtub, looking across the room at my school uniform that was placed folded on the closed toilet seat.