Winter [Completed]

FOUR

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August 13th
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"Silence is the most powerful scream."

-Anonymous

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Ethan POV

I have a great fear of drowning. But not in the literal sense.

For me, I'm deeply afraid of drowning in the ocean of my own silence.

In the spaces between here and there, my mind works the hardest. It is often unkind to me.

I think too much. I feel far more than I should. Yet, I welcome the silence and the crippling anxiety that sometimes accompanies it.

To feel is to be alive. And being alive is a glorious thing. It's a good thing. It must be. But sometimes it just-hurts.

As I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling, I'm begining to think that now is one of those times.

I shift in bed slightly, and Imani stirs, murmuring something incoherent as she wraps her arms around my waist. I smile to myself as she nuzzles up against my chest before snoring softly again.

After about ten minutes of laying in the quiet, I can't take it anymore. I gently move Imani off of me, ignoring her soft whimper as I climb out of bed.

Grabbing my journal and pencil from my nightstand, I head to the balcony doors. Carefully, I unlock them and open the doors, letting in the cool night air.

Imani groans, and I watch as she pulls the covers closer to herself before rolling over in bed. I close my eyes, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Walking out onto the balcony, I rest against the ledge, squinting out into the distance as my eyes adjust to the light.

It's been a little over a week since the accident. Four days since Kelly came home, and four days, 12 hours, and 27 minutes since Imani told me she wanted to leave.

Everything in my life is changing so fast, and I still don't know how I'm going to survive this chaos. I'm struggling to keep my neck above water as is, and with Imani leaving today, I don't know what I'm going to do. Since I've met her we've never truly been apart, so this is uncharted territory.

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm no longer standing at the balcony but standing on the ledge, my feet dangling halfway off as I stare at the concrete driveway below. My heart is beating- no thumping-no throbbing- banging in my chest like a drum in a symphony, exploding and crescendoing and then... silence. My heart learches in my chest and I close my eyes.

My sister is gone.

The wind blows my hair across my face, changing my focus from what I'm feeling to what I'm seeing. I watch with wide eyes as the palm trees dance in the breeze and the grass rustles down below. My Jeep shines bright under the street lamp, its paint a glossy blue color. I've always liked the color blue, but tonight it looks different, sad almost.

My sister is gone.

This new person-this imposter -is not Kelly. This stranger with her face and voice is not my sister.