>started 30.3.19ended 24.7.20<
|| cringe warning ||
|| trigger warning ||
// SHiPS iNCLUDED \\
.george x alex.
.george x will.
.george x james.
.james x alex.
.will x alex.
.james x tyler.
.will x stephen. (rare)
My body started to shake & I couldn't control the sobs. My body was shaking & I couldn't stop it no matter how much I hugged myself. My wrists burned & so did my eyes & my head was pounding. Tears seemed to never stop falling & I couldn't see or think straight.
My mind was racing & I couldn't stop hyperventilating. I kept thinking over & over & over 'I can't'.
Every thought about my wrists hit me like a bus. I can't stop thinking about what I did & where I did it & what I used & when & how & the blood, the gushing blood & the pain & relief & I can feel all of it at once.
I crawled to my backpack & shakily & messily threw everything out of it until I found my old blade & I looked down at my sleeves.
I can't I can't I can't. I can't. I can't keep living this fucking nightmare & ohgod my mom is sofuckingright I hate this I hate her I hate me I hate EVERYTHING.
After harshly dragging my sleeve up, I made more & more & ohsomore slits into my wrist. I felt a vein break & I yelped in pain, never stopping.
Blood was everywhere & I finally felt no anger. In fact, I felt numb.
Dropping the blade, I laid down still, slowly slipping into an unconscious state. silently praying this would be my last breath.
-
george's woke up, his breathing frantic and his body was sweaty. the boy began to silently sob at the remembrance of the dream. his scarred wrists burned from remembering how it felt to hurt himself.
the boy jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder. he looked to his side to see his boyfriend, a worried and sad look on his face. george attempted to grab at his wrist to scratch away the burning sensation. but james stopped him and grabbed his wrist, leaving delicate little kisses over the scars. this calmed the boy, melting his heart.
"thank you.." george whispered, looking into the others eyes.
james nodded and hugged his boyfriend, rubbing his back soothingly as a way to coax him back to sleep. while his boyfriend slept, james walked around their shared flat. he grabbed every sharp object and stored them in a locked cupboard. he'd never let the love of his life hurt himself. james would help him in any way possible, that's just how much he loved him.
- request
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