It's been so, so long since I've even thought about writing fanfiction but I've recently been inspired by the amazing Erkensci Kus, the Turkish romcom. Some of my writing will remain canon, others will depart from the canon episodes and I'll add my...
*As always, thank you for the kind comments. Please keep voting and watching this space.
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Three months later.
The dream was always the same. The night breeze would awaken her and entice her out of bed. Somehow she'd open her bedroom door and there would be a stretch of sand and off in the distance near the rocks she could catch a glance of him but no matter how loud she tried to cry out, her words would catch in her throat and the more she ran towards, the further he became from her reach. In the dream Sanem stood paralyzed, her heart clamoring against her rib cage. She could not understand, why was Can so out of reach and with suffocating terror she watched as the greedy shore eventually swallowed him up. By the time the diffused light of the new day crept through her shutters, Sanem awakened with the tiredness of at least three months of sleepless nights weighing her down. She sat up in her bed and rubbed the crust from her eyes, her cheeks still damp from salty tears and she knew right away that she had dreamt of Can again. The images of that day, seeing Polen naked in Can's bed, the look of betrayal on his face as he denied what she knew she had seen still haunted her, months later. Even now as the sharp and searing pain of it all cut through her chest, Sanem let out a soft sigh, hopeful that wherever Can was in the world, he'd found all the love and happiness he desired. Her sweat drench sheet wrapped around her like a cold shroud and knees hugged close to her chest, Sanem squeezed her eyes shut as she made her wish.
By the time she had showered and dressed for the day, the soft squeezing pain in her chest had eased enough to put on a smile as she made her way down to breakfast with her parents and Leyla. It was Sunday and as always, Mevkibe had gone to town, preparing each of their favorite meals. Although Sanem hadn't had much of an appetite, she always showed appreciation for mother's efforts by filling her plate to the brim with different meats and cheeses, toast and jam. On this particular day, Leyla smiled at Sanem and gave her the usual sympathetic look as she poured them each a glass of tea. "Thank you, Sis," Sanem said coarsely, shooting a glance at their mother. Taking a deep breath, Sanem tried her best to put on the perky front. She wasn't sure what positive vibes she was drawing from exactly. As much as she pretended over the weeks and months that she was fine, that everything was okay, she was still grieving the loss of the love of her life, but she tried every single day. "Mom? Where is my dad?" She asked Mekabe, her throat still raw and sore from crying, she guessed as she took a soothing sip of tea.
"Do you want some more tea? Or some jam for your toast," Leyla chimed in, startling Sanem to the point she had jumped and spilled some tea on her blouse.
"Alla, alla, Leyla! What is it with you?" Sanem questioned, smacking her sister's extended hand away. "Why so nervous and jumpy? Now I have to change!" She fussed, a scowl etched in her features. Before she had got all of her words out, Mevkibe was approaching with a wet towel and dabbing away at the stain.
"Calm down, we can fix this, it's easy," she said, her tone soothing to Sanem.
"Thanks, mom...but you didn't answer! Where is dad?"
Mevkibe let out a sigh, but she didn't say anything as she used the dry end to soak up the residual liquid of the stain. Sanem jumped again at the sound of Leyla's fork clanking against her plate. Sanem shot them each a look. "What in the world is going on with you two?" Sanem was beyond tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her, like saying the wrong thing would cause her to shatter into a million pieces. Even some people at work avoided her like the plague since the breakup. Yes, losing Can and all of their hopes and dreams for the future had been rough, but it wasn't the end of the world.
Leyla cleared her throat, finally speaking up. "Sanem, Can has finally returned. Dad — Dad agreed to meet with him, about what I'm not sure," Leyla said, her gaze pinning focus on Mevkibe.
For a long moment, Sanem's brain refused to register what was happening. Surely her own family would not betray in this way. "Mom?" Sanem said again, this time taking the towel from her mother's grasp. "What is this? You know that I don't want anything to do with Can! He doesn't get to have meetings and secret conversations and such with my family! Why would you let him back in, it's not fair!" Sanem shouted, her bottom lip quivering. "Look at me! You see the circles under my eyes? I can't eat...I can't sleep. Every time I pick up a pen to write my fingers lock up and it's because of Can and what he did to me! Why would you do this? Why would you let him back in this way! How long, Leyla? You know what, it doesn't matter. I'm done talking," she said, getting to her feet and away from them. Sanem was in total disbelief at what she was hearing, it was as if she was living in a foreign land amongst strangers.
"Daughter, calm down...yes, we've been talking to Can for a while now. But understand, he's regretful for what he did. He wants another chance and was respectful enough to come to us first...that's all, nothing more nothing less."
"I don't want to hear it, why don't you understand!" Sanem clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth in disappointment as she stormed off to her room, slamming the door behind her. Utter exhaustion from the conversation and lack of sleep set in as she paced her room. She had to think of something and fast. No matter how much she ached for Can, wanted to go back to their fairytale that was no longer possible due to his lack of regard for her, for their relationship and all the promised they had made one another. She just wasn't ready to see him and she refused to be forced into this situation. She decided then and there a new beginning is what she needed, a new place for this new and emerging version of herself. She needed a place she could start over, all on her own.
"I know what I'm going to do," she proclaimed as shaky hands reached for her cell phone, nervous fingers punching in the number for her publisher.
"Yigit, It's Sanem. I'm sorry I've been out of touch...yes, I know, I've missed deadlines and such, but...I have a favor to ask and I beg you to tell no one. Not even my family. Would you be willing to extend an advance? I need to go away from here in order to finish my book, it's clear. I want to leave today..."
A/N. If you like the story so far, please consider voting and leaving a comment. I really appreciate the motivation and I love hearing your feedback, thanks so much!
