IF YOU LOVE ME DON'T LET GO, JOURNAL ENTRY

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Can.

When I overheard Leyla berating Sanem I was so angry, I couldn't get out of that bar fast enough. So I guess inviting Emre and Leyla was a mistake. I wish I could go back in time and just kept our secret but it's too late for that now so I have to figure something else out. Ever since we stepped off the plane I've had this feeling of dread I can't seem to shake. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel uneasy and all I want right now is to be near Sanem. My instincts are screaming that I need to be near her right now.

When I finally walked in the boutique and I saw her standing there I felt my heart seize, almost a sense of relief washed over me and I felt right with the world again. Her face lit up with a smile when she saw me and she practically dove into my arms, nearly knocking me off my feet. The whole time I'm thinking about how beautiful she and I can't believe she's mine.

"Can, you're here!" She said, and planted a bunch of kisses on my face.

I swear I felt tingles in my spine and my heart was pounding so hard. Leyla was yelling at Emre about not texting her back or something but they became a blur in the background as I focused on Sanem and the enormous smile she was wearing. "Yes, I came to save you. Let's get out of here," I said, and grabbed her by the hand. On the way out of the boutique, we stopped long enough to settle the bill for the things she had picked out, leaving it all with Leyla and Emre to take back to the hotel. I was so excited to break free of them I didn't bother explaining, figuring Emre was smart enough to know what to do.

"Can, where in the world are we going?" Sanem's legs were working double-time to keep up with me as I led her out of the boutique and onto the strip where I had a car waiting for us in front of the shop.

Taking her hand I spun her around so that she was standing directly in front of me and I cradled her face in my hands. "Sanem...do you trust me? I mean really, really trust me?"

A second or so passed before she was eagerly nodding her head. "I do, Can. I trust you. But you seem so anxious, you're scaring me a little. What's going on?"

I took a deep breath and a smile crept on my face. "I'm not anxious, I'm calm. I just needed to hear those words," he explained, then planted a few kisses on her lips before pulling back a little so he could see her face. "I want us to get married."

"But...what do you mean? Aren't we --"

"No, I mean...right now. Right, right, now," I emphasized, with a quick glance to the limo I had standing by. Ditching the plans we had for later tonight was crazy, so crazy...but, there was that now or ever feeling I couldn't let go of. This literally felt like our only chance. I might have needed my head checked but there were too many obstacles coming at us, seen and unseen I would come to realize later. I held my breath, opened and closed my palms a few times waiting to hear her reply. She looked confused, her eyes darting between me and the car and I swear I thought she was about to take off running, gonna leave my ass standing there on the sidewalk. Then all of a sudden her eyes lit up as she teetered on a response. I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach when she opened her mouth to speak.

A mischievous grin stretched across her features, "Alright, Can Divit. I'm ready...Make me your wife! Let's not wait!" She was shouting and jumping up and down, hugging and kissing me and as I wrapped my arms around my love the knot of anxiety in my stomach finally settled.

I wanted to run not walk to the nearest wedding chapel but my lovely bride to be reminded me that we didn't have any wedding rings so we ended up stopping at the closest we could find which was one of those nostalgia pawn shops. She picked out this diamond eternity band that supposedly belonged to some nameless Hollywood starlet who fell on hard times. I ended up with this gaudy diamond nugget ring that looked like it might have belonged to a 70s porn star. Mostly everything else was picked over but I didn't care, I was just ready to tie the knot already From there it was straight to the wedding chapel. The first couple we hit up was already booked but the limo driver knew of a place off the beaten path called the Graceland Wedding Chapel and apparently Jon Bovi had been married there! We made out for a little bit in the back of the limo then we spent some time writing our vows on cocktail napkins!

The officiant had to squeeze us in so everything felt a little rushed. Everything was taken care of for us from the flowers down to borrowed outfits to change into, a photographer, etc. Another couple stood in as our witnesses. That part made Sanem a little sad judging from the long look on her face, but we both decided we wanted to go through with the ceremony. We knew that eventually, we'd have a reception or something back home where all of her family and friends would be included. After I cleared the air with Nihat and her mother, the thought of which I pushed to the back of my mind and rather focused on this glorious moment we were living in.

My vows were pretty simple but I think I pulled it off considering I'm not the writer in the family:

My love, I vow to fiercely love you with tenderness and patience. I promise to stay by your side no matter what challenges might try and divide us. You're my best friend, my everything, my light, my entire being. When I see you, I know that there's a God and he loved me enough to create you for me. Be my wife and I promise to love you from the deepest part of my soul to infinity and back.

And here are hers to me.

My heart, my everything... I offer you myself with all of my strengths and faults. I promise to carry your heart in my heart. The world was so scary and lonely without you in my life and I'm so grateful to Allah for giving us another chance. I love you now, forever and always, in good times and in bad. I promise to love you intensely, wholly and unconditionally. Be my husband, and I promise to never leave your side.

So we did it, we got married! We're riding around the city in the limo drinking champagne, making out like a couple of teenagers in heat and I still can't believe it.

We decided on keeping the news to ourselves at least until the next morning. I felt a little bad for letting Emre think we'd called off the wedding but as it turns out we would later learn, that was the least of our worries. For the time being though, we shut off our phones to the world and checked into the Palazzo for the night as man and wife.

 For the time being though, we shut off our phones to the world and checked into the Palazzo for the night as man and wife

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A/N:  As always, thank you for your comments, votes and feedback!

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