Thin Bones

31

After a beat of silence, "Was it you, Maddie, or Leon who first having suspicions that something was wrong with Gaige?"

Maddie let out a huff of air, "Are you kidding me? Leon's the least observant of anyone. I mean sure, my concern was amplified by Leon complaining about his brother never doing things with us anymore, or how Gaige was always rain checking Friday food comas. But I saw it too. I was at the Jone's household at least three days a week before I starting dating Leon at the end of Sophmore year. That went to five days after school surrounded by the boys. I was constantly by them at school. I was in close close-quarters to know something wasn't up with Gaige. Our boy wasn't down to watch movies and gorge, he would hide in his room, or god forbid hide in the YMCA gym for hours on end. He always took forever choosing his food and would take forever to eat all his food. It all didn't make sense to me."

"Personal note to interview Gaige rewatching this interview," Gaige rolled his eyes and swung his legs over the edge of his desk, the wood creaking making Gaige wince. There goes the idea of dinner, "So what'd you do if it all didn't make sense?"

Maddie had a weak smile on her face when she shook her head and shrugged, "Googled it. What else was I suppose to do? I didn't have a tone of, like, evidence if you feel me. I just googled, why is my friend acting like this?' and it came up with various things-"

"Like?"

"Like, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder. They all make sense if you really think about it. But then I started googling why he didn't want to eat with us, and all these different things came up..."

"I need you to say them, Maddie."

Maddie licked her lips, Gaige could physically see her gripping Leon's hand harder, "A-anorexia, bulimia, binging, and purging. I feel down a rabbit hole of eating disorders."

"Upon...coming into this information, what did you immediately do with it? Did you go to Leon or Gaige right away? Did you tell an adult? Did you ask someone else what to do?"

"Uh, no, no I didn't go to anyone. Right away, at least," Maddie pushed another lock of hair out of her face, an up and coming nervous habit, "I printed off some articles and symptoms, and even pictures," Gagie remembered those pictures. They looked liked skeletons. Luckily he still had muscles to make him look human, "And I had them in my room for about a week before I could get the guts to bring them over to the boy's house. About two weeks before school started, I had to guilt trip myself into staring into those awful photos of people who look like they hadn't ever eaten, and then I got everything and brought it over to the boys house and first told Leon I had to something really important to talk about with him and his brother-"

"Did you tell Leon then what was happening?"

Maddie shook her head, "No, I thought maybe if I had shock value for Leon too, then he could help me guilt his brother in being better. So we woke Gaige up, dragged him to the kitchen table. I put my hair up in a ponytail, and slapped the pictures, and articles, and symptom lists, and all these things I printed off down. And, now that I think about it, I bet I looked a lot like what Gaige looked like back then. Accept, he looked more...alarmed, you know?" Maddie looked over at her boyfriend as if waiting for him to back her up. Leon just grinding his teeth and nodded his head. Gaige hated a silent version of his head, "Now that I think about it, I feel stupid. Really stupid."

"Why? I mean, why do you feel so stupid about confronting your friend about something like this?"

"It's not that I feel stupid about confronting Gaige about it. It's more, I feel so stupid I didn't see how it just kept getting worse. When I cried to him that I thought maybe something was wrong, he held my shoulder, bent down to my level and said something like 'I swear nothing is wrong with me, Maddie. But if there is, I promise I will come to you and Leon first, alright?' and my dumbass believed him," Now she was wiping tears, her shoulders shaking a tiny bit, "And now, a year or so later, I'm walking into his room -to ask if he wants to play laser tag before he leaves again for who knows how long- only to find him unresponsive on the ground, blue lips, and thinner than a pancake."

"And he has the audacity to push us away when we offer to help him off the ground," Leon shakes his and tuts, "This sickness, whatever it is, is messing with his brain. Because that boy I found on the ground, that ain't my brother," Leon's eyes are...angry when they dart to Gaige's. And like the coward he knows he is, the latter hops off his desk and picks up his phone, seeing the little image of Adonis.

"Alright, are we done here? I kind of want to pass out again -in the sleeping sense."

"Uh, just one or two more questions. Please?" 

Gaige sighed, set his phone back in the spot on the seat, and sat on the very end of his bed -hopefully out of frame. He rested his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands, slowly massaging his temples. 

"Was there..." Adonis cleared his throat, clearly nervous about whatever question -or questions- he's about to ask next, "Was there any part of you that thought something was wrong again? Especially after juvie? I have Gaige saying his time in the correction center is when it got extremely bad. And if my timeline adds up, and memory serves me right-" Why was Adonis talking like some hot shot journalist? "Gaige was home for a whole week before he went off to Michigan. So, did either of you notice or think something was wrong again?"

Gaige managed to twist his head in his hand in time to see Maddie visibly stiffen, and Leon's eyes narrow. 

"I didn't get to see my brother a whole lot the three months he was locked away. So when he came back, I didn't have a choice but accept the new man he was. I didn't get a choice but wrap the new thinner but muscular boy I used to play football with into a hug. I didn't get a choice to judge the bags under his eyes or bruises on his thighs. None of us did, not even the one who wore them with his head held high. Because that's who Gaige has always been- confident and quite about his problems. So excuse me if I didn't know, because I didn't see my brother, and even if I did, he's a master spy at hiding every little thing from us. But I swear, if I could go back and slap my ass awake and tell myself to do something to save Gaige, I would."

The room was silent for a moment. 

"Adonis, I think we're done here."

Off went the cameras. 

The room re-entered the silence it once maintained. All three teenagers sat on the bed. Two angry boys sandwiching a sad girl. All their heads hurt, all their hearts hurt. All were at a lack of words. It seemed like the Three, indestructible Amigos were no more. Gaige may have been sitting next to two of the most important people of his life, but in reality, his was floating on his own little island. He had officially broke the connection he treasured to stay in with the world he once knew and cared for. 

"Lift your shirt," Maddie, of course, broke the silence. But no one moved at her demand. Not even Gaige, despite the fact they all knew the demand was for him, "Lift your sh-"

"Why? You already groped me," Gaige watched Leon's feet quietly dance in place. At least he wasn't the only person who couldn't sit still right now.

"I want to see if you look like the pictures," Gaige sucked in his lower lip, and shook his head, but Maddie was a persistent girl. It's how she survived in this friendship, "Take your goddamn shirt off, Gaige, or i'll Leon hold you down and i'll do it myself."

A beat passed before Gaige stood up, fingers lingering on the bottom of his shirt and windbreaker, "You'll regret it. You think you want to see it, but if I've learned anything it's i will always disgusting. Fat, skinny, anyway," Then Gaige gripped the hem of all his layers and lifted them up to his chest, suffocating a little on the build up of clothes around his throat. 

There was -as expected- a sharp intake of air. Wide eyes, dropping jaws, and misunderstandings. As soon as Maddie's hand lifted, as if to lean out and touch Gaige, he dropped all his clothes, and took a step back. he horror on their faces made this whole thing worse then it need to be. Why couldn't anyone understand he was doing it to make himself better? Did they want him to be unhealthy, fat, greasy abomination? Sure, Gaige wasn't exactly the hottest right now, but if he worked out right now, ate less carbs and more protein he'd look and feel amazing and then they would all regret these looks of shame and horror. 

They would regret it, he was sure.