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Hey so ugh I don't really know how I feel about what you are going to read in this chapter. I initially wrote this story fully thinking on making it bxb and having a cute little complex relationship, but I have been gotten very caught up in accurately portraying eating disorders and the documentary and everything going on with Gaige. And so I realized I was on chapter 38 and I had not made any real dent or attempt in making a relationship in the plot of this story and I guess what I'm saying is I am sorry. I know some of you came for the bxb part, and I'm sorry if I have lead you on. I have even taken those tags out because I don't want to give anybody a false sense or anything. 

So, anyway, I'm sorry for sort of ruining what you want. And I wrote this chapter thinking maybe I make it go somewhere and well... I won't spoil what happens next. What please tell me if this chapter is awful, or too out of the blue, or just does not fit the flow of the whole thing. 

Thanks all so much and I'm so sorry really if this book is bad and ugh I'm just sorry


It was a new flow. A friendly flow. Maybe because slowly filming was dying down, fewer interviews in library study rooms were necessary. And this time? Gaige had dragged Adonis back into his room because -well, quite frankly he was lonely.

Ritually, the loneliness came every six months. A scheduled typhoon of emotions Gaige was very accustomed to covering in a thin layer of cocaine, weed, vodka, and other lonely, high personals.  But that was back then. Back in Flordia. Back before the correction center. Back in the correction center. 

Before Michigan. Before Brad, or Erin, or Milton, or Krista, or Chester. Before he began fainting. Before the interviews. Before the personal shit. Before Leon and Maddie knew. Before the documentary. 

Before Adonis. 

The saner of the two had his back turned to Gaige, in Gaige's desk chair, carefully finishing editing a piece of something for his short film with Alyssia. Gaige had practically begged Adonis over -it felt weird to the both of them- so Adonis worked on his editing while Gaige laid in his own bed, eyelids half open, most of the time watch the other boy in his room. 

It felt dangerous, having Adonis in his room for something other than film purposes. Was he slowly corrupting the previous good boy? They weren't doing anything, Gaige really hadn't left his bed, Adonis hadn't left the desk. But Gaige liked when they were together. Wait-

When Gaige sat up, swing his body so his legs flung over the edge, he felt his whole body ache. It was worst in his shoulders. The ache was always worst in his shoulders, like the weight of the emotions -specifically the loneliness that was awful this six months- always felt like the world resting on his shoulders. 

"Shouldn't that other girl be editing all this stuff?" His voice was a shock to everyone in the room. It'd been quiet, Gaige pretending to sleep, Adonis with an earbud in one ear. Gaige's voice startled them both, making Adonis jump, Gaige attempt to shrivel back inside himself.

Adonis looked over his shoulder, at the hunched over body, elbows on their knees, "I'm editing some scenes to send to her to edit into the whole thing. Are you alright?" Then Adonis turned back to his laptop, and the dark scene he had filmed months ago. 

Gaige had a silly thing with jealousy. Envy was one of his greatest weaknesses. Lucky for Gaige, jealousy very far and in-between for him. Most of the time, it came when someone else was kissing the neck of a beautiful boy Gaige wanted then and there. Or, if Leon paid too much attention to Maddie or the crack head next to him seemed higher then himself. Then the ugly green monster reared its head and Gaige's stomach stirred. 

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