Andrew's Tears

Chapter 13

Andrew could hardly breathe. He did, indeed, think that this Ariel lady was crazy. But, how did she know his name? It wasn’t coincidental. How could it be? Maybe she was writing to some other Andrew. Maybe it had been meant for another Andrew.

No matter how many alternatives Andrew thought of he knew that they were not true. Somehow, deep in his core, he knew that this note was meant for him. How, though, Andrew thought.

Andrew rifled through the pages again. He felt angry at this woman. The reason why, that was lost on him. He thought it was that this woman assumed she could save him with her Christian mumbo-jumbo.

Andrew threw the book against the wall. It thumped to the ground upside down. Tears of anger welled up in his eyes and he sat against a wall. He felt like screaming out a long string of obscenities but knew that it wouldn’t help anything in the long run.

When his fury subsided, Andrew looked at where the Bible lay crumpled about ten feet away from him. He stood up and walked over to the book. He lifted it gingerly off the floor.

“Might as well just look at it…” Andrew said, referring to the verse Ariel had wrote down for him.  He didn’t know where to look for the verse, so he started from the beginning. He went page after page looking for Romans. It took him nearly an hour. But after a long search, he found the verse.

Andrew read out loud, because that helped him comprehend such things as this. “And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” Andrew was intrigued. How had this woman known what it would mean to him? And who was this ‘life-giving spirit’?

Andrew found himself reading further. He didn’t necessarily understand all that was being said. But when he got to Romans 10:9-10 He was flabbergasted. “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.” Andrew’s jaw dropped. How could that be it? How could that truly save him? How could saying a few words truly be an escape?

Andrew found himself rifling the pages. He found himself in a part of the book called John. What kind of chapter names are these? Andrew wondered. As he read, he felt something strong tugging at his heart. It was an odd feeling, something like he hadn’t ever felt before.

Andrew felt a ring of truth behind each word and phrase he read. How could it not be true? Andrew found his weight lifting. He found himself believing it. How had he been so wrong?

“Um… I don’t know if you’re there. I don’t expect you to be, considering how I have treated you. I just want to say… ‘I’m sorry. . .’” Andrew paused. He didn’t know what to say next. I feel so crazy… He thought. “Well… I just wanted to let you know… I believe. I-I believe that you can save me. I believe that you are the one who can get me out of this. Well… bye…” Andrew didn’t feel anything different outwardly. He felt the same. Everything was the same.

Ultimately, though, something had changed. Andrew’s chest began to flutter. He could hear his pulse beating in his ears. He felt peaceful inside. It was something he had never felt before. The raging storms inside his heart and mind had been in perpetual war with themselves for as long as he could remember. But now, something was different.

The wars had seized, and for once, Andrew felt safe. He felt himself changing on the inside. His heart felt lighter, his mind didn’t feel as sluggish. He felt a tingling sensation everywhere on his body.

It was minutes before Andrew realized that his cheeks were being held up. A true smile of real joy lit his face up. No one had said anything funny, nothing had happened… yet, he was smiling. Andrew felt a bubble of laughter in his throat. He couldn’t hold it in.

He let it out. It started quiet at first, but then became larger and fuller. Andrew hadn’t ever felt what he was feeling right now.

It was almost as if Thomas could feel Andrew’s joy, because right after Andrew had let his laughter become full, Thomas slammed into the room. “What are you laughing about?” He said.

“Oh, nothing,” Andrew said quietly. He noticed that he wasn’t afraid of Thomas. He actually felt… at peace. Thomas’ strong, hateful glare wasn’t as frightening as it had been mere hours before.

“Oh, I doubt that!” Thomas yelled. “If it were nothing you wouldn’t be sitting here cackling like an insane person!”

“I don’t know what to say. I guess I could say that I found something funny.”

“Really?” When Andrew nodded, Thomas said, “So, it’s what, eleven hours till you’ll be dead and gone, and you found something funny?” Thomas’ glare was filled with hatred.

“Yes, sir,” Andrew said, trying to hold back the joy he felt. He failed… miserably.

“Don’t mock me!” Thomas yelled. “Get over there!” Thomas pointed back to the pipe that Andrew had been zip tied to at first. Andrew went willingly. He didn’t care what happened now because inside he felt good. It was like someone had drugged him up, not that he knew what that felt like. He assumed it was something like the feeling inside him now.

Thomas pulled two zip ties from his back pocket. He was silent as he restrained one arm and then restrained the other in a sort of ‘T’ formation. Andrew began to wonder what was going to happen. “Why are you doing both hands?” He asked inquisitively.

Thomas was silent as he continued on.