rose garden | minsung.

lmh ♡ .18

it was awkward to say the least. we were in my room with me sitting on my bed and jisung standing in the middle of the room playing with his shirt. see i had planned on talking to him this entire time but it is much more difficult when the person is in front of you. it felt like all my communication skills left the room which wouldn't be much but still. i had to think of something fast or else he'd leave before i even got a word out.

"uh thanks for s-saving me but i have to go" jisung began as he turned to the door. i can't let him leave now. not with how awkward things are. i gotta know why he's been acting this way. it has been bugging the fuck out of me. we were doing great before and i need to know if it was anything i did or said that made him stop talking to me and just flat out ignore me.

"jisung w-wait" i cursed myself for stuttering. it made me sound desperate and weak which i wasn't fond of. i stood up and walked over to him until i stood in front of him. screw it i'll just say it. i don't care at this point for how i sound.

"why have you been ignoring me?" i asked. fuck that wasn't what i wanted to tell him exactly. i mean i want to know why but i wanted to tell him something else. i really need to improve my communication skills but for now this will have to do.

"i-i wasn't" jisung muttered not even looking at me. now that was a lie. did he really think i was going to actually believe that. i wasn't that stupid.

"we both know that's bullshit." i retorted getting angry that he wasn't being honest. i didn't care if it offended him the way i said it. i don't like people who lie straight to your face like that. and if jisung is going to lie to me and think he can get away with it he's not.

"i don't wanna talk about it.." he mumbled trying to move away, but i wouldn't let him. not until he tells me. i have to calm down if i want him to cooperate and actually tell me something.

"tell me why and don't lie to me. i have been honest with you." i answered which is true i have been. this made him look at me and when i saw his face he was angry. why was he angry? if anything i should be angry.

"honest huh? you want honesty?! you said we were friends! and then i hear you telling hyunjin that you hate me and that i'm a man whore! so where's your honesty?! " he snapped poking my chest with every sentence. to say i was surprised is an understatement. he was never one to get angry at me. he was usually nice and calm with me. i was confused to say the least. when did i lie to him? from what i remember i have been honest. what is he even talking about?! but then it hit me. hyunjin! he heard me talking to hyunjin.

i sighed in relief before i pulled him into a hug. he tried to push himself off me but i just held him tighter. it made me feel better knowing that it was a misunderstanding now. "you want my honesty? fine. we are friends and i missed you. i don't hate you. i was talking about my ex woojin, the one you saw at the convenience store. i would never say that stuff about you, jisung. i don't care what others say about you. what i do care about is you."  i replied i could feel him stop moving. i was being honest then and i was being honest and sincere now. i just hoped he believed me.

"really?" he asked as he pulled away to look at me. i smiled as i nodded in response. his cheeks turned pink. "i'm sorry i ignored you hyung" he said as he buried his face on my chest. i let him as i wrapped my arms around him securely. i missed this. i missed him.

"it's okay. i'm sorry i didn't tell you earlier. are we good?" i asked him. he hummed in response. "also i've been meaning to ask you....do you wanna spend the winter break with me? you don't have to if y—"

"yes, i'd love to!" jisung practically squealed and that had to be one of the cutest things he's done. apart from being cute in general. oh god i'm turning into changbin.

we spent the rest of the day indoors watching movies and cuddling. it was our usual routine and i missed it. having changbin to cuddle didn't really feel the same since i started with jisung. i prefer jisung over changbin but that's something only i can know. i hope jisung finds me comfortable the way i find him when we cuddle. he's smaller than me and the perfect size to just hold closer to you. i felt better having him on my side than ignoring me. i would never tell him that though. well at least not right now, maybe when the time is right. of course i was still shy when taking off my shirt but it's only because it's jisung. i would try to sync my breathing with his and our chest would rise and fall together. i wanted things to be like this forever. when it's just us and there are no worries in the world. i held onto him and pulled him closer to me as he snuggled against me. i could feel his breath hitting my bare chest making me feel goosebumps but i ignored it and focused on jisung only. i even zoned out the movie that was playing. it all became background noise as i focused on the boy in my arms.

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