rose garden | minsung.

hjs ♡ .16

ever since the day i heard minho's true opinion about me, i decided to keep my distance. at least minho could hang out with his best friend again, right? which they did. everyday. along with my best friend too, since he and changbin made things official. so i was forced to hang out often with the guy that got me caught into all of this with his flirty words and plump pouty lips.

minho didn't even make the effort to speak to me. not in class. not at lunch. not at all. so i stopped coming to lunch all together. i picked up my things and hid out in the bathroom. that way i wouldn't bother or intrude on anyone.

i'd sit and eat my lunch in one of the stalls, sometimes i wouldn't get lunch at all. it hurt to eat when you felt so sick all the time. i started reading the words inscribed on the blue walls. faggot here. horny bitch there. man whore nearly every where. and a whole lot of han jisung attached to all those phrases. i sighed. it's not even like i was proud of my pictures or wanted to show them off. i just didn't know how to get people to notice me. well now they notice me, but all the wrong parts of me. it's almost like there aren't any good parts to begin with.

"ma, we have to go to the super market. we're out of..." i scanned the fridge to let my mother know what we were missing. "everything."

"jisung, get me my ashtray." she shouted, her voice choppy and strained. i complied as always.

she was sipping on hard liquor carelessly as some middle aged guy cheating on his wife laid his head on her scarcely covered lap. i think his name was jinwook? maybe sejun? it was hard to remember all the names at this point. i handed her the ashtray and she tapped off the ashes of her cigarette into it.

"jisung, when are you getting a goddamn job?" she asked.

"yeah kid, when are you getting a job?" her boyfriend questioned as well, sitting up as he looked at me in disgust.

i hated him whoever he was. usually the guys my mom slept with were quiet. they just did what they did, drank my dads liquor and took their leave. but this one, he never left. he wanted to be a dad i guessed, as if he didn't have a 14 month old daughter at home with his fiancé.

"you don't get to ask me those questions." i said sternly, giving him a glare. that didn't go well. the moment i opened my mouth, he stood up. charging at me as if i just committed a crime against him.

he'd gripped me by the neck, holding me up against the wall. my feet weren't even touching the floor. i couldn't forget his face. he was covered in unkept facial hair, straggling little hairs poking out from his upper lip, chin and nose. his liver was going to shit from all the substances in his body, so his eyes were a murky yellow color. beady little black irises floated in the ocean of yellow and his breath reeked of whiskey. i couldn't breathe.

"you worthless punk. who the fuck are you to talk to me like that? you're nothing. and you'll never been anything. just a scared little boy with nothing but his v card left" he laughed a twisted laugh, his breath permeating through my pores.

he wouldn't let go until my face turned a purplish red. he dropped me to the ground. i stood there on all fours, trying to catch my breath as i heaved in the brisk winter air. my mother never paid for indoor heating.

"hey check this out, faggot." douchebag called.

i reluctantly looked up, knowing if i hadn't, he'd come over and choke me again.

douchebag was hovering over my mother, unzipping his pants and telling me to watch as she went down on him. he said if i didn't look, i was a pussy. and pussies deserve nothing but getting beat up. from then on, i figured people listened to you if you we're open with sex. i figured, if i was persistent with people, they'd be too scared to say no to me. but that persistence trick only worked on me. the scared little boy i was with nothing but his v card.

"how long are you planning on eating lunch in here?" i heard a voice call from right outside my stall. i looked down at the shoes to see who it was.

"not now hyunjin. please just let me mope and hate my life." i responded.

he sighed. "well if you don't come out in the next 3 seconds, i'm going in." he started to count down.

"okay okay, jeez!" i shouted, unlocking the bathroom door. hyunjin pulled my hand immediately and dragged me out of there.

"if i catch you eating lunch in there, i'll tell minho we were making out in the stall."

i scoffed at him. "yeah whatever, see if i care." i said, knowing my cheeks were turning red.

hyunjin laughed as he held onto my hand, swinging it as we walked down the hall. "we both know that's a lie."

"shut up." i mumbled, looking down at my shoes as i walked.

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bdbdnd hey babes,, how's it going ?? hope you guys are enjoying this story !! ty for 8k -mina💛