Never before Kozik had spent New Year's Eve in his own apartment, without company. He didn't even long for one of the Croweaters. Everything was so fucked up.
He wanted to hide underneath the blankets like a little child, hoping everything would be better tomorrow, but of course there was no point in doing so. Maybe things would never get better.
He stared at the inside of his elbow, his thumb rubbing the ribs. Scars of all the times he'd put a needle in it. He squeezed his eyes. No, that's no solution. It never was. His last relapse was four years ago, he didn't want to go down again. His skin however was itching, the longing to silence his thoughts rose. He wanted to escape to that world where Chibs and Gemma hadn't been just buried. Where Jax wasn't fighting for his life so hard that he hadn't even been able to go to the funeral of his own mother.
Breathing became difficult, it felt like his lungs were filled with blood again. He grasped for the inhalator they had given him yesterday when he left the hospital, and inhaled deeply. Tears filled his eyes, despite the fact he was squeezing them hard, trying to calm himself down. The fear was still in his body, he never was this emotional. But never before he had been shot almost fatally twice in a year, and never before he had to say goodbye to so many friends in such a short period of time. And who knew how many more would follow. Jax's wound had festered, leading to a sepsis. The doctors tried to suppress it with antibiotics, but yesterday he had been talking nonsense, which was a bad omen.
Kozik realized he had been very close to dying again. A collapsed lung and a bullet wound in his shoulder. He could barely do a damn thing, but at least he had left that horrible hospital. With a sigh he dragged himself to his bed and leaned back against a pile of pillows. If he flatted down, he would have trouble breathing again. He felt dead tired and lacked the energy to undress himself. While closing his eyes, he returned to the funerals. He could have sworn whole Charming had been there, just like any Son in California. A lot of support was offered to them and they lacked no man power, but someone like Chibs couldn't just be replaced. And it wasn't any different for Tig and Happy, and Opie and Juice. SAMCRO was falling apart. It felt like they were trying to stop a dam from bursting by using nothing but matches.
Kozik rubbed his neck. His muscles felt tense. Maybe he should call for a Croweater. He could use a neck massage and if he needed something, he wouldn't need to leave the bed. He touched for his phone, called to the clubhouse and ordered the prospect behind the bar to send two girls to his house. Then he lowered his arm again, closing his eyes yawning. One would think there would be enough energy after a week in hospital, but nothing was further from the truth. He hadn't slept much, there had been machines beeping the whole time and he continuously had relived the shooting.
Right after surgery, cops had been in his room and for once Kozik had told them the truth. Unser had already known about Dana's situation, but Kozik had repeated the story to his colleagues now too. He had made a statement about everything that had happened: how Dana had fled from San Francisco, being forced to kill someone; how Maddox had killed her mother and how Happy and Tig had been framed. Even though he hadn't been around, he had told them what Opie had done at the funeral of Dana's mom and how Maddox had taken revenge (without mentioning Dana's involvement). He also admitted Dana and Juice had fled the state, making her ex so angry he had wanted to kill them all on Christmas Eve. Of course he left some things out; like Happy's torture party and the shooting at the safe house. The cops had been busy taking notes and he knew they would soon interrogate him again. Not that Kozik expected anything from them; there was no proof. Maybe a bigger organization would dive into it, one that wasn't influenced by Maddox, but up to now it was just a thin hope. Telling them the truth had served only one purpose: if there would be a day the cops caught Dana, he hoped they wouldn't be too hard on her.
Sighing, he thought about Dana and Juice. Tomorrow he would call them to wish them a happy new year, and he would convince Juice everything was fine. There was no way he was going to tell them what had happened. Guilt would drive Dana right into Maddox's arms – and this time for real. He wouldn't take that risk. They would find out when they returned. If that would ever happen at all. And if they did, his rawest pain would at least been gone.
Kozik knew not all of his brothers would agree with his decision. Clay had lost his wife. He wanted to avenge her, and sooner or later he would be willing to use Dana as bait. Kozik was glad Juice had bought a new phone, apart from him nobody was able to contact him. It was his call now, and nothing could persuade him to tell them the truth. At least there were two of them who were still able to feel a bit of happiness and he would protect that with his life.
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Hey all!
I just wanted to let you know I started a new fanfiction with @samcrosfaith :)
It's a Happy/OC and Juice/OC and it's called "Forbidden Fruits". The summary:
Just like most of their brothers, Juice and Happy only use women to entertain them. Their perspective on them changes as they fall in love; one with a sweet Christian girl who will never fit into the club life; the other with the charming daughter of the President, from who he is keeping a terrible secret since the day he met her. Both relationships appear to be doomed to failure, but will they ever accept the inevitable?
It's written on another account so we both have access, I'll drop the link in the comments in case you're interested. (:
YOU ARE READING
Runaway ✔
Action[Completed. Words: 150.328] Love is blind. Nobody knows better than Dana Lowman. For four years she threw herself into a relationship in which her boyfriend was the only one who mattered, abandoning friends and family. When she discovered how toxic...
