020 • Juice

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He moved her hair aside, over her shoulder. Slowly he brought down the zipper of her dress, uncovering more and more of her neck, shoulders and back. Halfway her back he stopped. With spread fingers he glided down her neck, fanning out to her shoulders. She felt so soft, so warm. Her muscles tensed a little beneath his touch and he kneaded the tension away. He let his pinky slid under the strap of her bustier, brought it to the right until it shoved off her shoulder. He put his left arm around her waist, bowed his head, pressed kisses to the place where the strap had been.

"Oh Juice..." she sighed, leaning against his chest, playing with the fingers of his left hand. She stretched her neck a bit more, inviting his lips.

"Juan," he whispered, his voice a little husky. "Juan Carlos."

"Aye, Juicy-boy." Chibs' voice ripped him out of his thoughts. "Y'all righty?"

Actually, he felt like shit, but nobody needed to know that.

Chibs glanced at the joint in his hand. That he was getting stoned here on his own, said enough. Juice dropped his shoulders. Chibs always easily sensed how others felt.

Juice took a deep breath and stared into the distance, where brake lights were glowing. The noise of the cars that was usually audible, was drowned out by the music coming from the clubhouse.

Chibs sat down next to him at the picnic table and gave a pat on his knee. "It's 'bout the girl? Jackie just beat yeh to it, right?"

In silence, Juice dragged on the joint. The drug didn't make him feel better at all. What could he say? He'd no interest in smartass jokes from the others. Plus, there wasn't much to say. He'd been too late, had misjudged the situation.

The last couple of days he'd hoped the feelings that had grown rapidly since the beginning, might be mutual. Sometimes he'd seen her blush, and her eyes shot often to him. Earlier tonight he'd really believed things could work out between them... and then she was suddenly all into Jax.

Should he have kissed her? He'd found that difficult, not knowing how she felt about men touching her - or more. The past years had been hard for her, and he knew she'd been abused. Building things up very slowly had seemed logical, making sure he wasn't crossing borders.

But Jax - he just went all the way. And apparently, she'd nothing against it.

He'd been too careful, too afraid to trigger painful memories. That had already begun when they'd been in the van together to get her a new ID. He'd wanted to ask her a million questions, but he hadn't dared. Her life had stood still for a few years. He hadn't even dared to ask if she'd been to college, afraid Maddox had ruined that dream by locking her up for such a long time.

"Ye wanted 'er in yer own bed?" Chibs dug deeper. "Or are ye serious 'bout 'er?"

"Does it matter?" he groaned.

He couldn't compete with Jax. That guy got every girl he wanted. Never for long, but that was his choice. After tonight she would be head over heels. They always were.

Not that Juice was unsuccessful with the ladies, but there was never anything serious about it, and they would fuck Jax just as easily. But Dana... yeah, he had imagined how it would be to call her his girl, and maybe one day his old lady. A big step, especially for him, but there was just something special about her, something no other girl had.

"'Course it matters. But ye crabby face is sayin' 'nough. Go for it, kid. It's a sweet girl, she needs someone like ya. Bet Jackie was just in the mood after seeing that little show of hers. If he'd seen ya this way, he wouldn't 've done it."

Juice shrugged. It didn't matter anymore. They hadn't just kissed, Jax had taken her to his room. He kept thinking about that, his brain kept creating images he didn't wanna see. He tried to picture her on the stage again. How she had moved, wearing his cut, how she had looked at him. Sensual, taking away his breath. But in his thoughts, the pole quickly turned into Jax, and it made him feel sick.

"Come on, Juicy!" Chibs flicked the back of his head. "Get another beer, find another sweetheart to cheer ya up."

With a sigh, Juice stood up. He wasn't in the mood to go inside, but it was a long walk to his apartment and he had drunk too much to drive. His club room however was close to Jax's, and he didn't consider going there. The thought that he might hear them... He shook his head. However staying here on his own wasn't a good plan either, he didn't want the others to call him a pussy.

So he followed Chibs inside. Naturally, his eyes scanned the room to find her purple-red dyed hair, but she wasn't there. Not that he would know how to react if she had been... Maybe it was for the best if he didn't see her again tonight, even if that meant she was having a good time with Jax.

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