Runaway ✔

090 • Dana

Dana wished she could go back to the clubhouse, to her room. She felt awful and was tired of Cherry's and Opie's attempts to get her to talk. She didn't want to share anything about her past with Kozik before she'd talked about it with himself or Juice.

Even though it first had been Juice's actions that had kept her mind busy, she was now starting to wonder why the hell Kozik had tried to kiss her, ten years since the last time they'd seen each other. 

And why she hadn't stopped him. 

She had been blindsided, there was no doubt about that. Both by his appearance and his actions. But Juice's question kept racing through her mind. "You have feelings for him?"

It was impossible to give an easy answer. For years she'd been in love with him, she'd shared her first kiss with him. Nobody could just forget such a first love. She couldn't decide how much of her feelings had remained in just a few minutes, and it didn't matter anyway. 

She didn't want to lose Juice. 

She wasn't going to trade him for Kozik. 

She just wished Juice had given her some time to make that decision herself, before he'd pulled them apart. Or would she have kissed him back? 

She couldn't say with certainty she wouldn't. She'd really been sucked back in time. 

Would Juice have forgiven her if she'd kissed Kozik back? Or had he just saved their relationship? Or had she ruined that now anyway?

She took a deep breath and looked around. Together with Jax and one of the prospects he stood knee-deep in the water, while some Croweaters tried to push them over, laughing way too loud. Had he missed that? Other women that paid attention to him, that hung around his neck and pushed their breasts against his body? 

How would she feel when one of them started to kiss him? Would he kiss her back? Would she storm into the water too and threaten to drown the girl? 

She dropped her eyes when he looked over his shoulder, whereby their eyes briefly met. Was he waiting until she would go to him? He believed he'd done nothing wrong – and she... she neither thought she'd done something wrong. She hadn't kissed Kozik, Juice hadn't even given her the chance to tell the man she was in a relationship. 

Or did he? Had the moment taken much longer than she thought? 

Her memories were nothing but flashes and Juice's actions were more at the forefront than whatever had happened between Kozik and her. 

Dana stood up because her thoughts were wearing her out. She felt remarkably lonely. It was her own fault, Opie and Cherry had tried to keep her company, but she'd wanted to be alone and regretted her decision now. She started to pick up the plastic plates and cups from the grass. 

She'd filled half of a trash bag when she felt a hand around her wrist, keeping her from bending over again.

"We have prospects and sweetbutts to clean up, sweetheart," Gemma  spoke on a tone that didn't tolerate any disagreement. "You don't need to do this."

"I know," she sighed. "I just... need to be busy."

"Then talk to your man," Gemma answered simply. "That will more likely clear the air than piling up plates will."

"Well, of course I will," she muttered. "But we've caused enough trouble here."

Gemma's face told her she wasn't done with sharing her opinion, but Dana had heard enough. She walked to the cooler, took out a beer and sat down at the shore of the lake, a little away from the small group in the water. She lowered her bare feet in the water and watched the circles she caused. She didn't know why she'd sat down here. Was she hoping Juice would come to her? She'd been the one who didn't want to talk. He wasn't just going to forget about that.

She looked up when she noticed a movement next to her. Her stomach cramped when she realized it was Kozik who sat down beside her. She took an anxious look at Juice, but he paid no attention to them. He'd lifted a girl on his shoulders and tried to push over Jax, who was also carrying an oozing and squealing girl on his neck. Both men had already fallen; there jeans were soaked. 

"'m sorry, girl," Kozik said after staying silent for a while. "I... I don't know what happened. Didn't want to cause trouble."

Dana didn't know what to answer. She wiped her eyes when they got damp and turned her head away in shame. She hated her emotional outbursts. Of course they were fed by everything else that was going on, but it felt like she was now crying because of some stupid misunderstanding. 

"I don't think you should sit next to me now," she said softly. She hated to tell him that, especially because she did want him to stay and the thought that Juice wanted to forbid her to talk with someone, made her feel sick, but she didn't want to make Juice even more angry. 

"I honestly don't think you should sit here either. I think you've had enough of this party."

She shrugged her shoulders, but man, he hit the nail on the head. Opie and Cherry had tried to get her to talk and there after they'd tried to distract her, but even after not seeing each other for ten years, Kozik knew exactly what she needed. 

"I can't go back alone."

"Then I'll take you to the clubhouse."

She snorted, even though a small smile appeared on her face. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Kozik shrugged his shoulders. "He'll take you home or I do. It's up to him." He stood up, yelled Juice's name and beckoned him to come. 

Dana froze when Juice turned around and gave them a questioning look. Again there was that scorching gaze. She bowed her head and nervously intertwined her fingers. "You shouldn't have done that."

Kozik snorted flippantly. "Nah. You two really are blowing this out of proportion."