Runaway ✔

039 • Dana

Dana stared at the blinking cursor. She had to come up with ideas for the memorial. After her husband had ended up behind bars, her mother had turned to the church, something Dana had never understood. All that happy fuss about nothing...

How did that work, in a church? Did she have to pick out hallelujah-songs? Or was normal music permitted as well? Not that that would be very helpful, she had no idea what music her mother had liked. It was very confronting to realize she had alienated so much from the woman who'd given her birth.

The door of the minibar opened and Opie put a bottle of liquor in front of her. 
"Maybe this will give you inspiration."

"I have to drink alone? Man, that's depressing. And you have to draw all your attention to the door." She couldn't help she sounded embittered, although Opie had done nothing wrong. "Bet Happy will freak out if he sees the bottle, afraid that I'll drag you to bed after a few glasses to make sure I'll get my cheer-me-up-sex."

Nonetheless she opened up the bottle and took a few swigs. Maybe it would help. 

"He means well," Opie appeased. 

Dana snorted. "He acts like Juice and I can't keep our hands off each other. Which is bullshit, before yesterday we hadn't even kissed. And my concentration wouldn't have been worse than it is now anyway."

"It's not about that."

Dana gave him a sharp look. "Then what is it about?"

Opie shrugged and lit a cigarette, ignoring the forbidden to smoke sign. "He doesn't know if he can count on Juice when it comes down to it."

Dana frowned. "Why's that?" She took out a cigarette from the pack as well and let it lit by Opie. 

"It's just... Juice isn't often in the field when things need to be done. He arranges the transport and that kind of shit..." Opie looked at her as if she should draw her own conclusions from his words. He sighed when she kept staring at him. "He never needed to kill someone. Think Hap doesn't know if he will hesitate when Maddox will be at the door. I don't have to explain to you that the first kill isn't easy."

Dana turned around a strand of hair while she thought about Opie's words. 

"It's just an uncertainty which Hap doesn't want. There's enough shit on his mind."

"Then why doesn't he just say so?" Dana mumbled. 

"Can imagine it isn't somethin' he wants to brag about to his lil sister."

Dana blew out a cloud of smoke. "I'm no idiot. I know you're no saints. That's the reason I came to you in the first place."

Opie shrugged. "Still feels the need to set an example, I guess."

Dana thought about his words. How many people would Happy have killed? Had they all deserved to die? And what about Opie? Were those things she wanted to know at all? She decided she didn't. 

"There's another reason," Opie continued after a short silence. "Unfortunately I have some experience with all this shit. I have no doubt that's another reason he wanted me around. Two years ago I was in the same boat, when Donna died."

"What happened to her?" Dana asked softly

Opie's gaze strayed away. Smoke sneaked out of his mouth. "Clubshit. Retaliation."

"Oh God..." A shiver crept down her spine. There was no way he wouldn't blame himself. After all, he was the club member. 

"Yea. It was a hard time." He dropped his eyes. "It still is, often. With the kids. There're days I can barely get out of bed. The pain... her absence... it only seems to worsen every day."

Dana quietly wrapped an arm around him and leaned against his shoulder. She thought about Juice. She was afraid that she would cause his dead. Had that fear flashed through Opie as well? Had he done things differently, had he distanced himself from the club if he'd known what would happen to his wife? Was he aware of that, every morning that he woke up and noticed the empty side of the bed?