Runaway ✔

117 • Juice

Juice stood still as the undertaker gave them the sign to do so. In silence his brothers and he lowered the coffin. Then he stepped back, while it felt like he was carrying hundreds of pounds on his shoulders. His breathing was in the back of his throat, his grief seemed to block all oxygen. 

Gratefully he put an arm around Dana's waist as she stood next to him. He pulled her close while a tear glided down his cheek. He briefly looked at her pale face. Her eyes were aimed at the two children who stood on the other side of the coffin, together with their grandparents. Kenny and Ellie were holding hands while they stared forward with a numb look in their eyes. Even from here, Juice sensed they didn't understand what was happening. 

The cemetery was crowded. Everywhere he saw cuts, but there were also a lot of normal citizens. The club was faced with a somber mood that also affected the rest of Charming. In their eyes the Sons were indestructible, and the fact that they'd lost someone in such a brutal way, caused many lumps in throats.

His thoughts hadn't been very different, back in the day. He'd also looked up at MC's, and he never could have expected he would also wear a cut one day and that he would be part of such a family. 

He pulled Dana closer and dipped his head to press a kiss in her hair. At the same time he breathed in her scent. It had came very close to standing here on his own today. If he had been able to bring himself here at all. But the sight of all his brothers together strengthened him now. They were connected by the Reaper that was on everyone's back and he knew they would all turn to Maddox. 

But for Opie it was too late. 

No matter how hard they would make Maddox suffer, it would never bring back Opie. He had taken something from them that was irreplaceable, a scar in their close family.  A loss they would feel every day from now. 

Next to him he heard a heavy breathing. From the corner of his eyes he saw Jax was fighting the tears. Juice laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Those two had grown up together. He had never experienced a friendship that went as deep as the connection between Opie and Jax and what he felt, must be ten times worse for Jax. 

Jax's pain seemed to push Dana over the edge. Her shoulders started to shake and she smothered her cries against his chest. He didn't know what to say or do, so he just kept standing there, staring at the wooden coffin while the tears stung his own eyes as well. 

He heaved a deep sigh as Gemma offered them a basket filled with white roses. The three of them took out a flower. Dana's hand was shaking. He knew what she was thinking. The last time she'd held such a flower, Opie had been her comfort.

And now he was gone.

A pang in his stomach made him press his lips together. Who would hold her next time? Would he be the one lying in a coffin? He loved Dana, he really did, but was she really worth dying for? He hated the thought, his own cowardice made him feel sick. But it was a question that got its claws in his mind. 

He only lived once. After this, it was over.

He knew Dana for only a few months. Losing her would tear him apart, but time could heal all wounds. All wounds, except the fatal one. 

Dana started to cry harder, as if she could hear his thoughts. He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her in a big squeeze.  

"It's getting better," he whispered, his voice broken. "We'll get through this."

His doubts vanished as she started to breathe a little easier. If she wasn't worth to live and die for, what was? 

"I miss him, Juice," she muttered. "I'm already missing him."

"I miss him too," he admitted, kissing her forehead. "I miss him too, baby."

He wanted to say so many more things to her, but he couldn't get another word out of his throat. So he just kept holding her in his arms until they both had gathered enough strength to descend their flowers on the coffin and whisper a last goodbye.