Runaway ✔

105 • Dana

Again and again Dana fired the gun. She heard the bang, felt Opie's blood splatter in her face and mix with her tears. His body shocked in her arms, before he collapsed. Every time she saw his blank stare and bleeding face, she moved closer to Juice and blocked her cries against his warm skin. 

His fingers slowly caressed her hair, her shoulders, but his touch felt suffocating. As he'd known what she'd done, he would never comfort her. Didn't he deserve to know the truth? Maybe he would let her go. But it felt so egocentric, she shouldn't use him to alleviate her guilt. She didn't want to cause more pain. Hell, all she wanted was finding a way to take away his pain. He was no longer crying, but she recognized his sadness in his shallow breathing and the convulsive manner he'd wrapped an arm around her. The powerlessness squeezed her throat and she snuggled closer to him. She pressed a kiss in the nape of his neck. 

"I'm sorry," she said with a raspy voice, without giving a further explanation. She just had to tell him, even though she barely felt lighter. 

"Nobody is blaming you for this. You don't need to apologize." He kissed her temple and didn't take away his lips from her skin. 

Dana didn't argue, even though she knew that wasn't true. She'd seen the look in Clay's eyes. Her presence was enough to blame her for Opie's death, let alone what would happen if the president found out she had been the one pulling the trigger.

Maybe he would even kill her. 

And maybe... maybe that wouldn't be so bad. She lacked the courage to do it herself, but if he did it quick... than all of this would be over. Everybody would be safe. 

Her jaws tensed. It was a lie Maddox would have whispered in her ear. Of course the misery wouldn't be over. Contrary, hell would break loose. Juice and Happy would never understand Clay's decision. Besides, her brother and Tig would never have the chance to clear their names. No, her death wasn't a solution. 

There was only one solution. 

She had to go back, earn his trust and kill him, like she'd done with his brother. 

For the first time she realized killing Casper had been the biggest mistake she'd ever made. She shouldn't have shot him. She should have waited until Maddox himself had shown up, not suspecting anything. A chance she probably wouldn't get again. 

. . .

When Dana woke up next morning, she was at first convinced Opie's death had been a nightmare. Why wouldn't it be a nightmare? Every night she was plagued by horrible dreams in which people she loved died. For a moment she felt peace, until Juice woke up and she saw the pain in his eyes.

It hadn't been a bad dream. 

Opie was really dead. Thanks to her. 

Because she'd been deceived by Maddox, because she was so crazy she could kill her own friend. A normal human being hadn't been able to pull the trigger. Then nothing would have happened, nothing at all. 

"You okay?" Juice had turned on his side and was leaning on his elbow. With his other hand he caressed her face. 

Dana took a few deep breaths and nodded. She had to be strong. For him. Offer him consolation was the only thing justifying her current presence. "How do you feel?"

"I'm okay."

Dana knew he was lying. He didn't feel okay at all. He had lost a brother, was scared to death he would lose her too and he knew he also could have been the one that would be laid out in a few days. She didn't say anything about it. She was lying too and there was no doubt he knew that perfectly well. 

There just wasn't much to say. The situation just sucked. 

His fingertips stroked her lower arm. Worried, she looked at him. She saw he was about to say something, but he seemed to hesitate. She raised her eyebrows, giving him a quizzical look. 

His lips parted a few times before he answered, as if he was still weighing his words. "Why... why didn't you call me?"

Dana sighed softly. She'd known he would ask her this question sooner or later. "I don't know. I panicked. And if I called you... that guy could return and kill you too. Calling Koz... it just seemed logical."

She didn't like the way he kept looking at her, as if he knew she wasn't speaking the whole truth. "I don't wanna talk or think about it anymore, okay?" She lifted herself on her elbow as well and draped her leg over his. "I just wanna forget it. For now. Please?"

"Yeah, sure." He laid a hand on her knee and moved it upward, while he kept looking at her. 

Yes, this was exactly what she wanted, what she needed. She wanted to forget about yesterday for a while, she wanted to feel something else than the guilt and the pain. She brought her face to his and kissed his lips while his hands moved over her body, easing the pain and displacing the fear in a way only he could. 

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Thanks for the feel better wishes, I had a much better day today. (:
So, how do you think this story will develop? ^^