broken up
his fault, he can blame me all he wants but it's not my fault
now that i'm really thinking its no ones fault
i just couldn't love him back
i thought back to the last words i said to him before we broke up
"amor ch'a nullo'amoto amar perdona, henry." i sighed, i knew he didn't know what that meant and i wanted to keep it that way until someone told him.
"y/n what does that mean!" he yelled at me, "you better not be breaking up with me you bitch!"
"henry calm down." i muttered trying not to let a tear that was begging to be let out come out.
"i will not calm down y/n! you probably just broke up with me in a foreign language!" he exclaimed
he broke down right there. his hands covered his eyes.
i panicked
"henry, listen..."
"no i will not listen. i just told you i fucking loved you and you go ruining everything." he sobbed
"henry you know i want to but i just can't say it back. i don't want to lie to you." i cried, "i'll never lie to you henry."
and with that i left.
oh god if i could tell him how sorry i was.
he's going to murder me at school today.
shit.
i had been reading a book with splashes of italian everywhere.
it made me realize how much of a lie me and henry's relationship was.
not the italian but the quotes.
yes it makes me feel like absolute shit but after all it is better to speak then die.
-
alternate ending
-
"i love you too." i lied.
he smiled at me and pulled me in for a hug.
i just threw the one word i promised never to misuse
love
i don't love him.
but what if i did tell him. what if i told him now
told him i was lying, but just for 5 seconds, 6 now, no 7. i can't keep up with seconds anyways.
nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spots and hey i gotta give it to ya nature.
you gave me a book that inspired me to want to end things and use an amazing quote
but henry is my weak spot.
you made me realize that too.
maybe if i stay a little while longer i'll love him.
because love is a word used to describe someone or something in which you have a deep emotional connection with.
and maybe after all i will love henry.
just not this very second
-
my parents finally let me read call my by your name and why the fuck is it so good and why does elio seem so pure but like he's not?
word count - 464
