in some eyes the sun was something they looked forward to seeing each day they woke up.
the light it shines upon the grass, the trees and everything throughout the world.
it makes people think about possibility, hope and happiness for the day to come. because a new day is some sort of big thing, we strive to do better then we did the day before.
it's not like you're personality is going to completely change magically overnight. you're still the same optimistic person who believes everyone can change into a mom living in a 5 bedroom apartment because they want to take after their rich parents.
i could never be one of those people.
sure my parents were good with money and provided me with all the stuff i need. the idea of happiness never seemed to get around to me.
my family history is shitty. i had 5 relatives who weren't happy with their lives so they killed themselves.
my mom and dad didn't seem to be affected by their unhappiness and shoved that way of living out of our house for the most part.
they believed i was going to be like them, grow up happy and successful oh and may i add straight.
i'm a lesbian and i kind of wanna die.
my parents don't even know that i've been harming myself for the past 2 years or that i'm gay.
i tried to tell them but they just shrugged it off and let my moment turn into a lesson about success.
that's when i started self harm.
my mom did ask me about a cut i places so obviously on my left wrist just to try and get her attention.
but when i told her i wanted to kill my self she had already gone halfway across the hall.
i had been homeschooled all of my life by my parents' teacher.
even she doesn't care about my well being when that's kind of what she should be focusing on.
but today i'm starting actual school with actual people.
i haven't had a single friend in my life which is probably why i want to kill myself.
•=•
i stood in front of the doors to the school perfectly on time like my mom always told me to be.
"hey new girl, i'm beverly i'm supposed to be showing you around today." a red head said, stepping in front of me.
my face lit up a bit seeing her happy expression and bright orange hair.
"ok good this school is huge i have no idea where anything is." i laughed.
"well then let's go." she laughed along with me.
she took my hand and led me around. round the school even after the bell had rung.
we laughed and exchanged glances.
for once in my life i felt truly happy.
3 weeks later.
my life had completely turned upside down.
i actually looked forward to the next day.
i had real friends and a crush.
i've started to feel more happy.
"y/n, we're going to go to the ice cream shop after school you wanna come?" my friend beverly asked, snapping me out of my daze.
"oh ya sure." i said smiling.
beverly's desk was right by mine, my other friends, richie and eddie were also in the class but sitting further away from us.
i was going to tell her that i liked her today until bill asked her out but she said no.
i'm the only one she told about her being lesbian.
she turned around with a smile on her face and gave a thumbs up to eddie and richie.
richie had always joked with eddie about how he's gay for him and eddie always blushes and punches or kicks him hiding a smile and laugh.
everyone knows they like each other and everyone ships it. ( a/n reddie is fucking real )
after school
me and beverly walked out of the classroom together laughing about some weird thing she said about our teacher.
it's times like this that really make me wanna kiss her.
once we finally managed to make our way over to the bike racks my heart took over my mind.
"beverly?" i asked turning to look at her.
"ya?"
"i like you." i spit out.
that's when i leaned in and kissed her.
that's when she didn't pull away.
that's when she kissed back.
•=•
i am so so so sorry for the wait i wasn't feeling that inspired to write
•word count 753•
