fifteen

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I place my heels neatly near the door and as follow Cameron through the apartment he drops his jacket and shoes on the floor and I pick it up after him as always.

"Would you like some wine?" He asks walking into the kitchen and opening a cupboard.

I nod and he pulls out one glass pouring three quarters of a glass and passes it to me as he grabs a cup of tap water for himself.

"Your not going to have any?" I frown taking a sip of the burning liquid.

"No I don't drink anymore"

Oh.

I place the glass down and look around nervously. "I've learnt better how to control myself now besides I hated seeing you so scared when you saw me drunk, I want to change for us." His eyes stare into mine and there is a force keeping me from looking away.

So know he wants to make a difference.

"What are you trying to say?" I ask him. One minute he wants me the next he is yelling at me telling me how useless I am.

"I want you back, I've always wanted you back." He says just above a whisper.

Bullshit. Has he ever stopped to thing about anyone but himself? I don't want him to touch me at all but I need him to at the same time. I hate these uncontrolled feelings that gets ahold of me when he is involved.

"How about all the terrible things you have done to me?" I dare to ask.

"We have talked about this Melissa." His voice is more rougher like he is getting annoyed.

"I can't bring myself to forgive you again Cameron, I'm sorry" I shake my head.

It goes silent for a couple of moments before he stands up pushing everything that is in his way on the table causing the wine to splatter all over my dress. He then goes on to push the chair next to me leaving me in shock. He then storms to his room pushing down furniture and lamps leaving the room in a mess from its original spotless state. I hate it like this, the uncontrolled rage. I can't help him like this as he refuses to listen to anyone but the dark voices in his head.

"Cameron open the door." I yell as I bang louder and louder but there isn't a sound.

This isn't anything that is going to get through to him and the hope that may I could is gone. I feel like giving up but that's what he wants me to do, he wants me to feel guilty and feel sorry for him. He wants me angry and mad at myself but most off all mad at him, it somehow gives him a gateway back to me.

"Your such a coward you know that, you have to hide behind a wall instead of facing your own problems!" I'm tired exhausted from the stressful day but the adrenaline is keeping me up.

I hear a loud thump and the door opens all of a sudden taking me back a bit but I'm not scared of him and I stand up straighter keeping a straight face.

"You done being angry?" I ask and he gives me a filthy look.

"You can't except my to forgive you in a minute you have to give me time and space and so far you have given me nada. Cam I don't want us angry at each other but you got to learn to control yourself because your pushing me further and further away." I sigh and he looks down at the floor.

"I don't agree with you."

Excuse me?

"Space isn't an option for us because last time we did I lost you and I still haven't even managed to get you back. I want to earn your trust back again and so far nothing we have tried has helped, we keep walking 3 steps forward and 5 steps back."

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