Big Bad Wolfie

4) Post Invasion (Navy) Blues

"Try this one."

  Blondie threw me another dress. This one is fire engine red and strapless.

  Ugh, strapless. My worst enemy.

I held it out in front of me. "Ummm, that's cute. Where's the rest of it?"

"Funny. Now shut up and put it on," she responded flatly.

I chuckled. "You think I'm kidding? Where's the bottom half?!"

"Believe me," she shoved it back into my chest, annoyed, "you may have a bit more to cover back there than most, but it's there."

I let out a huff at that but turned to head behind the changing curtain. "I hate all of you," I threw over my shoulder.

Just wanted that fact to be known.

I squeezed into the dress.

Oh my Goddess.

There's no mirror in here, but I don't need one to know there must be a bottom half of this dress that got lost in production or something. Either that, or the company wanted to save money on cloth.

'Cause I have shirts that cover more than this.

  And the completely sheer skirt that starts at my waist and falls down to the floor does not count as 'coverage'.

Not to mention, my air supply is being cut off by how freaking tightly this thing is clinging to me. Things are being squeezed that should not be squeezed.

"Come on! How long does it take to slip on an oversized, over priced tube sock with a curtain around it?" I heard blondie complain.

"Thank you!" I yelled in agreement.

She banged on the wall next to the curtain. "You have three seconds and I'm opening this curtain. So if you're not covered, do it quick." I saw her fingers wrap around the cloth. "3."

"Oh, um, that's not really a good idea."

"2."

"We don't even need to bother showing it, it —"

"1."

No more curtain between me and the rest of the cruel, judgmental world.

Everyone in the room could see the red mini dress that was trying to pass itself as a gown with its floor length, see through train. Along with my exposed shoulders.

I immediately looked to blondie, and the shock was evident on her face. Not too evident, 'cause she's trying to hide it, but still there.

Hm. Guess she underestimated what it actually takes to cover up back there.

  And other things in need of covering.

  I gestured to the too tight dress.

Or kid's red beach towel.