to live is a burden -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's so dark.
But of course it would be dark Jimin, you're sitting in bed, wide awake way after midnight. Why do I always do this to myself?
I never thought I could love someone so unconditionally, to the point where I'm just up at 2am, thinking about them. My brain has the memories repeating constantly, nonstop, like a broken record.
It's so tiring.
Not even starting with the inner turmoil, but to walk anywhere with bags pulling my face downwards, to have my eyes red with sadness, to stumble every now and again- not even due to the daily bar drink.
It's too tiring.
For my mind to bring back the beautiful moments we had spent together, for my immune system to give up on me as I tear my insides apart, to just want to sleep for eternity.
Who said that if I can't rest my mind, I should still rest my body. Oh, it was you. Well it's not working.
broken broken broken
I want you here, in my disheveled bedsheets, with me. Lying next to me, sleeping peacefully next to me.
Is that so hard to ask for? I still don't know the true reason why you left.
lost lost lost
Some people say they'd rather not know but I want to know. I want the countless questions lingering in my head to disappear and leave me to my prolonged misery.
A damn broken record, I can't even bring myself to sing anymore. To talk is a chore, to live is a burden.
To love is a foreboding nightmare. Those are monsters engulfing my sanity and hurling it further out of me, forcing my heart to weep for you.
But it's like waiting for snowfall in the summer, waiting for you to love me again.
The End ♥️
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