Spider-Man Imagines I

Never Enough (Part One) | Peter Parker [TH]

"Mr. Stark says something big is going to happen," he said. "Something bad."

You looked up at him, eyes squinting shut against the cold air blowing in your eyes. Peter gave you a tight lipped smile, but his eyes were serious. He tore them away and looked down at his feet, which dangled outside of your open window.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you asked.

"I don't know," he mumbled. "It means you could be in danger. It means I have to go away and fight."

Your heart filled with dread. Here it was - the part you hated most. More than the fact that you rarely got to see your boyfriend, you hated how he put himself in danger without so much as a second thought.

"Peter, no."

"I have to, ___," he said.

You bit your lip. "How dangerous is it?" you asked.

"I dunno," he admitted.

You curled your hands into fists and sighed. "You just got back from your last fight, Peter, and it nearly killed you. I didn't hear from you for three weeks!"

"Well, I couldn't exactly make phone calls in the middle of it all," he snapped. He straightened his back and wiped his hands against the front of his spandex pants. "I mean, jeez - I don't want to do this, but I have to. It's my job. You don't get it. I mean, how could you?"

Your eyes flashed hurt and you pulled away, turning inside of your room and swinging your legs over the ledge. You planted your feet inside and walked on, feeling tears burn your eyes.

"___," he said. It sounded like a warning.

"When do you leave?" you asked.

"Soon," he said. He stepped inside of your bedroom and slowly crossed the floor.

"I don't want you to leave after we fight, so I won't fight," you said. You squeezed your eyes shut. "I just... gosh, I want you to be careful. I want us to be us."

Peter touched your arm and your cheek, bringing your face to tilt upward. You opened your teary eyes.

"Why can't this just be enough for you?" he asked.

You wanted to snap at him. You wanted to cry. But when you looked into his eyes - those big brown eyes that widened so much with amazement when you did the simplest of things - you thought: this could be the last time you'll ever see him again.

So you wrapped your arms around him. He hugged you right back, one hand going to the back of your head to cradle you. With your cheek pressed against the cool surface of his suit, you fought back tears.

"I'm trying to hold my breath," you whispered. "Let it stay this way - can't let this moment end." You closed your eyes. "You set off a dream with me. Getting louder now... can you hear it echoing?"

He pulled back. "I gotta go," he said softly. As he moved towards the window, you outstretched your hand.

"Take my hand," you pleaded under your breath. He left. You walked to the window sill. "Will you share this with me? 'Cause darling without you-"

You watched him swing away from your window. When he was out of sight, you slid it shut and locked it.

"All the shine of a thousand spotlights, all the stars we steal from the nightsky will never be enough, never be enough-"

You grabbed your phone and sent him a quick text: goodnight - i love you. When he got home, he responded with a fast: love you.

You shut your phone off, praying you didn't hurt his feelings. Because he was right - this wasn't enough for you. You wanted all of him, not half of him. And right now, he was splitting his life into two parts - and they weren't very even.

"Towers of gold are still too little," you breathed, crawling under your sheets. "These hands could hold the world, but it'll never be enough, never be enough - for me."

...

Two days later, you stood in front of Peter and said goodbye. He sat his bag on the floor and walked over, hands going to your waist.

Your heart hurt.

Never, never
Never, never
Never, for me
For me

"I'll see you," he said. He kissed your head, but he seemed distant.

Never enough
Never enough
Never enough

"I love you," you called as he walked away.

For me
For me
For me

...

A week later, you sat on your bed with a bowl of cereal and a movie. You hadn't hurt from Peter since saying goodbye, so you were shocked to see his caller ID pop up and hurriedly answered it.

"Hello? Peter?"

"Hey, babe," he said. He sounded relieved.

"Hi," you said. You grinned. "Oh my gosh, how are you? I am so sorry. I hated how we left things-"

"I'm fine," he said. "I'm fine. I just wanted-" He was interrupted by a loud cracking noise somewhere in the background.

"Peter? What was that?" you asked.

"I-" He stopped. "I love you, ___. I just wanted to say that. And to hear your voice. I love-" Another crack, followed by a giant boom.

"Peter?" you called out, clinging to your phone desperately. "Peter!"

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Three days later, you got word from Tony Stark that Peter was in the hospital, unresponsive.

Will never be enough

Never be enough

You ran to the hospital, your legs burning with the length you were sprinting. You rushed by nurses and rooms, ignoring statements of protests.

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

Never be enough

You found the waiting room. Inside, May sat next to a grim Tony Stark. They touched one another's shoulders and spoke in hushed voices.

For me

Never, never

Never, never

Never, for me

For me

"Where is he?" you demanded.

Never enough

Never, never

Never enough

Never, never

Never enough

For me

For me

For me

They took you to a small room. You walked in slow, heart picking up at the sound of beeping machines and the robotic breathing of the machine they had to plug into Peter to keep him going.

And then you saw him, unconscious on the bed.

For me