Staring out the window,
My chest to the bed,
I look out at the sky,
And admire the shimmering lights.
Although, I feel something besides wonder.
Something besides happiness and peace.
I'd say the lost feeling would be longing,
But that isn't right either.
Perhaps it's anemoia,
For the time that never existed.
But even so,
There's still discovery that stays hidden.
I feel alone watching the stars,
But I know that somewhere,
Someone is watching with me.
Perhaps it's the closeness that I seek.
So here I'll sit still.
Welcoming the cold air under my blankets,
Listening intently to the beating furnace,
And wishing childishly among the stars.
I still can't tell my emotions.
I feel alone, yet connected.
I feel somber, yet content.
I feel wonder, yet reminiscent.
I can't help but smile though.
