Chapter 18

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Alex pov-

I woke up in a good mood and I haven't felt like that in years I laughed my mother was right today was going to be better and I'm not letting anyone ruin that. I grinned and jumped out of bed not a single thought of being depressed came to my head it made me grin more, I picked up my mother's picture and kissed it while I quietly thanked her. I left the van and headed to the trailer to get ready for school, but I stop and hid by a tower of tiers when I saw my dad he was talking to himself I listened "tsk Alex didn't come home I bet  he overdose last night" he said laughing I closed my eyes his words won't going to affect me today.

I open my eyes and waited until he left I got out of my hiding spot and walked to the trailer I saw my dad leave the junkyard. this morning was going well I didn't have to deal with my dad I open the door to the trailer and went inside, I scrunch my nose it smelt disgusting in here beer and sex it made me want to stay outside again. I soon stop thinking of the smell when I saw Emma from last night, she was making breakfast my eye twitched when I saw her wearing one of my mom's old shirts..... her body was tainting it I wanted to rip it off her but I pushed that feeling down.

"oh your back," she said bluntly as she piled scrambled eggs on a paper plate I ignored her and begin to head to my room so I could grab some fresh clothes.  but she stopped me "you need to eat before you get ready for school," she said placing two pieces of toast on the paper plate. I mumbled under my breath and headed to a small round table that sat by the living room, I sat at the table and waited for my breakfast  Emma carried two paper plates that had scrambled eggs and toast. But as she was carrying them she would sway her hips I wanted to go to my room now but I had to wait, she sits at the table as well and place our breakfast in front of each other. I stared at the plate I didn't really want to eat but I could feel her stare..... she was judging me I quickly grabbed the fork that was on my plate and begin to scarf down my meal.

when I finished eating I felt sick I needed to throw up fast before I felt guilty about it later. I quietly thanked her for breakfast and went to my bathroom, I had to get this food out of me or Luna might not like my body because of the amount of food I ate, I go to the toilet and open the lid I stuck  two fingers down my throat I ignored the tears that were prickling the corner of my eyes as I gagged at each push of my fingers. I felt relieved when I could feel my breakfast coming up I pushed harder until I vomited up the scrambled eggs and toast into the toilet, I took a deep breath when I finishing throwing up I wiped the remaining vomit that was on the corner of my lip. 

I walked to my mirror and smiled at my reflection I felt better after that I picked up my toothbrush and brushed my teeth. before I left my bathroom I dug in my jacket pocket and pulled out my antidepressant, it felt like a bomb as I held it in my hand and every tick was tempting me to take them but I forced myself to snap out of it. I walked to the toilet and open the lid of the medication of the bottle then dump the pills in the toilet, I flushed the pills down and chuckled no more antidepressant I was free from taking those damn pills. I throw the bottle in the trashcan and left to my room to grab some fresh clothes after I grabbed my clothes I took a quick shower.

once I finished taking my shower I put on my black converse and left my bathroom Emma was sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. she stared at me in disgust "no girl will ever like a thin boy like you girls like a buff man, not a scrawny boys"  she commented as she put down the magazine, I forced myself not to say anything my body was fine and I didn't care what other girls thought of my body. Only luna's opinion matter and I haven't seen her date any buff guys she might not be into the buff type which fine by me, my body will be perfect in her eyes once she sees how I been treating it.

Emma stops talking to me and returns back to her magazine I walked to the front door and left the trailer. I needed to pick up my backpack from my van before I left for school once I reach my van I take out the pistol and put it on my bed, I'll put it back in my dad's room later, my razor was still in my pocket. I wasn't going give that up I pick up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder and headed out the van. I thought of my razor as I walked through the junkyard I probably won't even use it today, I sighed when I reach the sidewalk that led to high school I took deep a breath and smiled I bet school will be better too then I begin to walk to the school.




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