Alex Pov-
I stared at my ceiling my room was completely quiet only noise I could hear was my own breathing I rolled on my side and stared at my closed door. I might not go to school tomorrow I pull out the pistol and lay it beside me, I still couldn't muster up the strength to kill myself. I turn away from it and started to think again. Jason is probably going tell everyone about my obsession over Luna, I felt nausea just thinking about it what if Luna becomes afraid of me when she hears the news.... we won't be together because she'll think that I'm a creep. I clutch my pillow as my body started to shake that feeling of being nauseous was slowly turning into a panic attack I couldn't stop it because the thoughts in my head were spiraling out of control. My chest throbbed when I heard the students whispering about me their words were filled with hate.
"I thought Alex was a freak now he's becoming a stalker"
" whose name you going carve next Jennifer"
I removed my hands from the pillow and covered my ears to block out students voices but it only made them laugh.
" I hope Luna puts a restraining order on you fucked up piece of shit"
I sat up and clutch my head the student's voices were everywhere they were screaming and my breathing quickened when I heard Luna speak.
"I should have known something was wrong with you I hope you get arrested and thrown into asylum maybe they can fix you"
I ignored the tears that welled up in my eyes and got off my bed it felt like the bed was suffocating me from all the voices. I struggled to walk to my desk as the student's voices got louder and louder, I tried taking a deep breath but it only caused a sharp pain to go through my chest. I needed to distract myself I pulled my right sleeve up and took out my razor my fingers trembled, when I heard the student snicker I close my eyes begin to cut my left arm but cutting myself wasn't working it just made everything...... worse the student stopped snickering and begin to pressure me into cutting the veins in my wrist. I open my eyes and stare at the blood from my cuts, usually when I cut the blood would calm me down but it didn't I gripped the razor tightly and stopped myself from making another mark cutting wasn't going help me this time. I put razor back in my pocket the student's voices weren't pleased that I did that.
As I reach my desk the student's voices surrounded me I couldn't escape it.
"LOSER!"
"MORON!"
"FREAK!"
I clutch my fists and shut my eyes "please just go away" I begged as my voice cracked but they cackled at my weakness. I had to stop this, I mustered up whatever strength I had and slammed my fists on my desk " I SAID GO AWAY!" I yelled the student's voices went quiet only thing I could hear was my heavy breathing. I cracked open my eyes and waited for someone to say something but nothing came I took a seat at my desk my body was still shaking, I quickly grabbed a piece a paper and pencil... drawing something would probably calm me down. I clutch the pencil and begin to sketch a picture I sometimes would glance at the new cuts on my arm the blood had dripped on my desk but I could care less I just continue drawing until I felt my hand throb, I put the pencil down when I finished sketching the picture. I looked at my picture it was a teenage boy with a black cloud around his eyes but you could see the tears streaming down his face around him were other teenagers they were laughing and pointing fingers at him. I stare at drawing for a minute then place it in one of my folders that were on my desk, I sat at my desk for awhile the thoughts I had earlier were gone. I just felt numb and alone I pulled my sleeve down and got out of my chair and headed back to my bed, once I got in my bed I put the pistol on my nightstand and drew the covers over myself I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.
Jason Pov-
As I arrived at my house I put my jacket on the blood had dried but I didn't care about washing it now. I still thought of Alex I was no longer angry I became worried about him I have to him help I don't know how but I'll try something he doesn't deserve this.maybe we can talk tomorrow I'll just have to avoid asking why harms himself for Luna, I nod at my plan and took my car keys out of the ignition and open the door. once I got out of my truck I headed towards my house I stopped at my front door I could hear my parents arguing it was about me, I glance at my car keys I could leave now I know they wouldn't care but I couldn't their probably call the police to look for me, I took a deep breath and unlock the door then went inside.
My parents were in the kitchen they stopped arguing when they saw me they glared at me I shrugged it off and started to head upstairs. But my dad had other plans he walked to the stairs and blocked it, we stood in front of each other his arms were crossed and my left fist was balled I wasn't scared to throw a punch if he didn't move. "the school called me Jason where were you today?" I heard my mother asked she sounded annoyed I should have driven away from this damn place but its too late now, " so where the fuck were you, Jason," my dad growled I gave him no answer that angered him he shoved me but I stood my ground " answer me boy or do you have a cock in you're throat" my dad said as he laughed at his own joke then he smirked when he saw that his joke annoyed me I wanted to punch him but I pushed that feeling down I didn't want to get in fight with him, not today. I just stayed silent they weren't getting an answer out of me not tonight and not ever I pushed past my dad and went upstairs.
I could hear my mother screaming for me to come back down but ignored her and went to my room I slammed my door and lock it. I slid down my door I didn't want to talk them it would only cause us to argue and me my dad to fight so why does it matter to them they already stopped loving me when I told them I was gay.
