5.8 Move On

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First of all, I feel weird. After she left, instead of feeling sad, I feel nothing. Even when I crash my hand to the wall and to the breaking mirror in my room, I feel nothing. The blood keep on running but I am immune from the pain.

Isn't it a good thing?

I cant blame Yoongi hyung for loving her, who can resist her anyway. I cant blame his heart for loving her. That's the only reason I still choose to be okay hanging out with him.

Or toward Taehyung hyung.

I know I don't even know that he ever close to Lisa. It just, to unbelievable for me to believe. But, I cant be as close as I was with him before I know his feeling toward my Lisa.

My Lisa?

Oh yeah, how can I still claiming her as mine. She is not anymore. Like she said, our relationship only a bet.

For her.

I know it was like that before, but I thought that it changes as soon as we make up. That time I already showering her with all of my heart. My feeling. But its not enough for her to open her eyes.

And fool me, even after I know the reason behind our closeness, instead of hating her,

I still want her.

I still try to chase after her, but I found nothing. Even after I met her bestfriend, he know nothing about where she goes.

After years, 4 years, I become this broken piece of shit, wearing this fancy suit and act like a strong man, sometime I wonder if she will come to see me someday.

I miss her.

But, guess what, 2 years ago, mom and dad force me, and I can do nothing, I have fiancé now.

And I still want her.

I always there, sat on my leather chair on my own office room, looking at my phone where her old number saved, I want to call her but I force my self to not.

She doesn't want me.

She hates me.

I took what's left from her, my asshole ass killing her only sister.

As if she curses me, I never feel happy. I smile sometime, but it never reaching my heart.

But I surrender now, CEO Jeon Jungkook cant mourn his almost lover forever.

I should live my life happily, loving myself more, and try to love my fiancé. Try to be good, maybe, maybe god will stop to punish me.

Maybe this regret will stop haunting me.

Maybe I could forget her.


Maybe I could forget her

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For awhile.

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I'll move on, doll.

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