My Only Love [PG13+] *EDITING*

8. Greeted by Death.

I remember what I did to him. I wasn’t very good at Casting. Casting was what wolves did to other wolves to make them believe something that isn’t true. The worst thing that could ever come out of my mouth was to say: Forget me—something I didn’t want to say to him. It hurt me to say that to my mate—my mate who I hadn’t even had the chance to get to know. I heard more laughter erupt in the forest and I winced at the sound.

Mother was laughing again.

“You performed a Cast on him!” she laughed. “On your own mate!”

“I’m glad you find this hilarious, Mother.”

“Oh don’t get me started on hilarious, my dear child! This is rich coming from you!”

“YOU DID THIS TO ME! I WONT’ HURT HIM. I REFUSE TO HURT HIM!”

“Tone it down sweetheart, I smell someone.” She said, suddenly looking aware.

“As if we can have anymore freaking visitors on my turf!” We both turned and found a fully naked Jordan standing behind a bush, his hands up in surrender. “It’s just me, Queenie.” he scowled to my mother.

Stupid wolf! Stupid, stupid wolf! Why in the hell would he do something as stupid as this! “What the hell are you thinking shifting and leaving yourself defenceless before a RISER?” I asked, appalled.

“I’m thinking maybe I want to know why the fuck you have the bite mark the size of Uranus on your arm—why your mother, Queenie here seems to be the one who gave it to you and WHY you’re saying that you’re going to hurt Jarred and what in fucks sake does it mean that you performed a cast on him? You’re supposed to be his mate!”

“You don’t know anything!” I growled at him, clenching my fists into balls.  

“Of course I don’t! Help me understand, Elle! You’re his mate! How hard could it possibly be?”

“I’ll end up killing him.” I whispered softly. Somehow the forest felt eerier.

When I was a little girl my father always told me to be careful. I was his little princess after all. Our life was more difficult since I started to walk and talk. My mother hated me and it was so obvious. It was either she’d just walk past me and pretend I didn’t exist or she’d beat me until I passed out. When I started to shift at the age of four my father was reluctant to let me leave because he knew somewhere out there I...I’d have a mate. You see, Risers attract their mates. It’s like some sort of invisible pull—like magnets. It was why I never really left home...because my father didn’t want me to find Jarred. Because even when Jarred would be a little boy he’d feel the connection we had to each other.

My dad was afraid if I’d met Jarred that I’d go haywire like my mother and her mother before her. It was our family curse. Mine to carry. My mother’s to keep. We couldn’t love...it wasn’t possible.  

My dad loved my mother so much. So much that he couldn’t control her insanity—couldn’t help her. She was already broken when he found her...and I was already broken when Jarred found me. He wouldn’t be able to fix me. I wouldn’t let him try because I’d end up hurting him.

My mother made me like this.  

I was crazy like her.

And if I ended up with Jarred I’d end up like her. I’d hurt myself. I’d hurt him. I’d hurt...I’d hurt our children.

The thought made me nauseous. I didn’t want children...did I? I mean, I always loved them but I never thought about being a mother. Now that I knew that Jarred was my...mate, would I risk being with him...risk becoming like the woman who stood before me  now?