Orphan || 재용[√]

t h i r t y - s i x

Jaehyun ;

  i slumped onto my chair as a sigh left my mouth. it had been a month or more and i still was not used to life without taeyong. i kept calling the new assistant 'taeyong' instead of his name and sometimes i would go to taeyongs' previous room, trying to find him.

i insisted that the room would not be rearranged or changed in anyway, leaving it in its previous state when taeyong left. maybe i was doing it so that i would still have a memory of taeyong or maybe i still didn't want to move on, no matter how much i tried to convince myself.

reaching home, i laid down on taeyongs' bed, trying to find the spot where he used to sleep. i turned my face in the pillow which still smelled of his shampoo. although the sheets were changed since he moved out, i hadn't washed his pillowcase on purpose and now, i wondered why. so i could pretend he was still here? that i'd have something of him if he never came back?

i turned to face the ceiling, staring at it as my thoughts wandered. memories of the two of us flooded my mind, bringing a mist to my eyes. i missed him so dearly and i was such a fool to let him go. in return, i had hurt taeyong.

  maybe that's what we do to the people we love : take shots in the dark and realise too late that we've wounded the people we are trying to protect.

  my thoughts were interrupted when mom called out to me, telling me to join them for dinner. i responded, saying that i'll be down in a while. heading to the bathroom, i washed my face,
trying to erase the evidence that i had been crying.

  seated opposite my mom and beside vin, i picked up the fork and knife, cutting the meat into smaller pieces. everyone else was stuffing themselves with food but there i was, taking time just to cut the meat. when i was satisfied with the size, i picked it up with the fork and placed it in my mouth. i chewed slowly, not exactly having an appetite. although the meat was tender and seasoned nicely, i couldn't bring myself to eat more.

  i excused myself from the dinning table, saying that i didn't have an appetite and retreated to my room. a few minutes later, knocks were heard on my door. i got up and went to open the door to reveal vin standing outside.

  "mind if i come in?" he asked.

  i shook my head and let him in my room, vin seating at the chair from my table and me seating on the bed.

  "something has been in your mind, hasn't it? since young, you've always been like this," vin said, "you'd dwell on something so much that you can't even enjoy your meals and the light in your eyes is gone."

  "i-i miss taeyong," i spoke up, "i let him go, thinking that it'll be better for the two of us but its completely the opposite for me. heck, i don't even know whether he still loves me or if he misses me as much as i miss him but i can't help but feel this way."

  "you should have fought on."

  "that's what everyone says," i huffed.

  "which makes it the advice that you need to listen to," vin grinned.

  i looked up and stared at him, lips quivering as i spoke, "i still can try again right? i can try talking to my mom again. try convincing her."

  "that's the spirit," vin said, giving me a pat on my back, "so stop dwelling so much on it and actually do something about it."

  with that last piece of advice, vin left the room, telling me to make sure to at least eat fruits or snacks.

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c/n :

i wAS TOO HAPPY THAT EXAMS R FINALLY OVER THAT I FORGOT TO UPDATE YESTERDAY LMAO MY BAD MY BAD JSHKDJHDS

also idk whether y'all read chapter thirty-four?¿ like the reads and votes dont add up hehe,, do check it out just in case y'all missed it or smth tY