A Short Story Collection #Wattys2018

My Mom the Hoe

Your mom admits to you that you have some. . . supernatural blood running through your veins. But she doesn't remember what kind, cause she was kinda a hoe.

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When my mom told me that half of my blood was supernatural, I wasn't suprised. It was 3067 after all, and all the supernatural creatures came out of hiding and lived among us. They were treated as normal human beings. It was just still seen as taboo for one of them to have an offspring with a human. They could fuck yeah, but children were a big no-no.

The only problem was is that I didn't have any powers or anything that blatanly showed itself, so I had no idea what I could be. My mom couldn't help because she had no idea who it could be.

"Let me tell you this Jacob," she said to me the other night, "I did live on the wild side when I was your age, and everything is pretty hazy. All I can remember about your father was that he was handsome and funny. He had left by the time I woke up, and I never got a name."

"Mom, I don't want to hear about you having sex," I told her.

"Your twenty now, and I don't know if you'll start aging differently or start having powers or some shit. I'm telling you this so you can figure out what you are so that we can be prepared for anything."

"But you have nothing that can help me!" I yelled at her.

"I know it was either a vampire, a werewolf, a fairy, a siren, or a warlock. That's it." That was the end of our conversation.

The only person I knew who could help me was my long time friend Gavin. I told him about it over holograph, and he told me to meet him at his shuttle the next day. And that's today. He opens the shuttle door when I knock, and I'm immediately greeted by him shoving garlic down my throat. I push him off of me and try to spit it all out before I choke to death.

"What the fuck dude?" I ask, gasping for breath.

"Is your throat swelling up?" he asks.

"No you jackass!"

"Good good," he mutters to himself. "We can cross off vampires."

"Are you serious? I'm standing in the fucking sunlight your dingus!"

"I wasn't thinking."

"Obivously not."

"Okay, next, we climb to the top of the shuttle," he tells me taking my hand and flying to the top with his jetpack.

"Why are we doing this?"

"To see if you can fly," he replies and then DROPS me. I scream as I fall to the ground, cursing him in my head. For a moment, I really think he's going to let me just hit the ground, but then he catches me by the foot and brings me down gently.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I could've died!" I shout at him shoving him away from me. "You're supposed to be helping me!"

"But I am helping you!" he snaps back. "I'm narrowing down the list you gave me. We've crossed out vampires and fairies now."

"But why have you thought of dangerous ways to do this?"

"I'm not too sure actually." I face palm.

"Here's the next thing I need you to do," he says. "You need to sing, and if I move towards the water, please catch me."

"I'll think about it," I tell him. He glares at me. "Fine." I do my best to sing, but the only results we get is me cracking one of the shuttle's window.

"So you're definately not a siren." I turn to look at him and notice his mediallion is cracked.

"I'll pay to get it fixed," I tell him pointing at it.

"Thanks man. Now, we have to go to that clearing at the edge of the dome to get optimal moon light," he says going back into his shuttle and coming out with another jetpack.

"Let me guess, we're testing the werewolf theory?" I ask putting in on my back then turning it on. We then begin to jet over towards the spot.

"Yes. It's approximately ten minutes until the moon is directly over us, so we'll get there at the right moment," he replies. We zoom on in silence to the destination and reach it well after everyone's left the area, which is a good thing. "Now, I need you to strip down to your underwear."

"Is there something you want to tell me Gavin?" I ask.

"No," he replies flately. "If you have werewolf blood in you, I'm sure you wouldn't want to ruin your favorite clothes by transforming now would you?"

"You got me there," I grumble as I do what he says. I feel like and idoit, and I get cold quite quickly. We waited there for an hour, and nothing happened.

"Guess you're not a werewolf."

"N-n-no shit," I stutter out. I felt like I was freezing to death. He helps me put my clothes back on, and we fly back to his shuttle. Once there, he sits me in his sauna to lose the chill and then hands me a list when I come out.

"What's this?" I ask him.

"It's a list of spells from some Harry Potter books from the 1990s and early 2000s. We can't get real warlock spells, so I thought this could be the best substitute for the moment," he says.

"This old ass shit better work or else my mom got her creatures wrong," I say, looking down at the list. "Wingardium Leviosa." I wasn't expecting anything, but to my surprise, shit starts happening. Stuff starts flying around the shuttle around Gavin and I.

"Yer a wizard Jacob," Gavin whispers.

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