Professor's Pet (mxb)

Chapter Eighteen

Finn's POV

I was dying without Aidan.

On Tuesday, my life was fine. Sure I'd cried myself to sleep and woken up with the biggest headache in the world, but I was able to get up and look presentable. I went to my Tuesday/Thursday classes with a plastic smile and my first cup of coffee ever, because I was that drained.

Just like Aidan said it would, the coffee helped me through my day. I even made it the way he liked because it was the only way I knew coffee was made. I tried not to think about that too much. It made me angry.

No, I wasn't planning on this to be anything permanent. When I'd 'cut' Aidan out of my life, I'd mostly been thinking of Jerry's little plan. Maybe he would realize that he hadn't been appreciating what he had?

Or maybe he'd go on with his life, glad to be rid of the psycho student who was obsessed with him to unhealthy amounts.

It didn't help that I bumped into Professor Lincoln after my psychology class. He pulled me into the office and lectured me about the appropriate relationships between professors and students. Then he told me that my behavior had been crossing that line and most likely making Professor Demos extremely uncomfortable. Professor Lincoln was talking about how I made this obnoxious comments in his class on purpose, but it sure felt like I was being lectured on a whole lot more.

In fact, the more I really began thinking about it, the worse I felt. Of course Aidan didn't want to admit his feelings for me. Maybe he'd tried to kiss me, but that was in the heat of the moment. He wasn't stringing me along or anything. In fact, he'd never treated me with anything but professionalism. Even the way he texted me was more professional than the way I texted him.

I was just like that bitch who always walked into his outfit wearing practically no clothes. Except instead of bearing my genitals to him, I came bearing coffee and a too-large smile. He must've rolled his eyes a little bit every time he saw me.

What was that thing he'd said so long ago? It was something about me being his second pet. That was probably how he thought of me; like a puppy dog that wouldn't stop following him around.

Then I was crying in Aidan's ex-husband's office, and the man actually pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I let him hold me, because why the fuck not.

Aidan had a job. He needed to keep his job. Fucking around with me would be a surefire way to completely mess up his career and his future. I was nothing but bad news to him. He might be a strong man who could build me up, but I was a weight that would end up crushing him.

Before I went back to my dorm, I debated going to Aidan's office to apologize for being irritating and to promise that I would leave him alone. But it wasn't worth it. I'd already told him that I would leave him alone, so now it was time to make good on my word.

On Wednesday, I skipped chemistry. Jerry promised to take really good notes for me, plus attendance wasn't even counted in that class anyway. I even ended up skipping my other classes of the day because I felt so crappy. I was in a funk that I couldn't seem to come out of. It was the realization that I must've looked so stupid and hopeless to a man that I admired. He must've been wishing he could get rid of me all along...he even tried to, but then I'd gone and cried and made him feel guilty.

Jerry came back into the dorm with Ben & Jerry's ice cream and come candy. "I'm sorry about the break up, Finny," he said. He kissed me on the forehead and we cuddled on his bed.

"It's not a break up...he never cared about me. I knew it in my brain all along, Jerry," I said, with barely any conviction. "I swear I'm not a crazy stalker. I knew all along that we'd never work. But somewhere along the line...I just stopped listening to my head, Jerry. It was such a mistake."