Without You I Got Nothing To Lose

Chapter One

Day 542

6:30 AM

"Up! Everybody up! Don't wanna hear no bitchin', no moanin' and groanin', it's time to get the fuck up."

Shawn started his morning just like any other day at Green Haven Correctional Facility—the guards were wasting their time with a wake-up call because he's been awake since five o'clock. His body has become accustomed to waking up that early at this point. He takes a piss, brushes his teeth, his waves and gets in an hour and a half work out. Before he was busted, he had no time to even think about physical activity—unless he was with a female friend, and even that was hard to fit in sometimes. But while he was locked up, he figured he had nothing better to do.

As he stands behind the bars of his cell waiting for them to open, he can't help but to think about how he ended up here in the first place. He found himself spacing out a lot lately, the closer he gets to his release, the realer it feels. Which is odd since for most people it works the other way around. Shawn didn't feel that way. At first, he was in denial. He was waiting for one of his boys to call him up and tell him they were on their way to scoop him up to hit the club. Around the ending of his first year, he had accepted the fact that he fucked up. His operation wasn't as perfect as he thought it was, and that is what got to him. You always think it's never going to happen to you, until it does.

"Good Morning Mr. Carter," a voice interrupted his thoughts.

He looked up to see his favorite CO.

He smirked, "Mornin' Bey. You sleep good last night?"

"That's Ms. Knowles to you Carter. But yes, I did. What about you?"

He scoffed. "Bey, Beyoncé, Ms. Knowles, it's all the same shit, you know ion care. And oh yeah, the cold metal frame and sponge foam I sleep on is a great time ma. What you think?"

She laughs, "You know I gotta mess with you. But what about the extra blankets I gave you?"

"I still got 'em. I use them as a pillow. My neck is gonna be fucked by the time I get outta here."

She smiles a bit, "I'll give you the number to the chiropractor I see, he's great."

He nods. "Fo' sho. Aye listen, what they servin' for lunch today? That chili yesterday had me fucked up. I had to make sure I sweat that shit out real good this mornin'."

Beyoncé found herself checking Shawn out, as per usual. His work outs were really paying off well. His biceps were toned and his stomach was defined. She loved when the inmates had their "field" time because he wasted no time taking his shirt off. She especially loved when he rocked his du rag, and his jumpsuit hung off his hips. She sighed. She should not be lusting after an inmate like this, better yet, she CANNOT be lusting after an inmate like that. But Shawn was different. She had worked here for four years, and to say she's had her share of the inmates trying to get at her was an understatement. They have even had to transfer inmates out because they wouldn't leave her alone. Shawn never approached her like that though. He obviously found her beyond attractive, but he was a gentleman, through and through.

She giggled, "I believe today is roast beef with mashed potatoes and green beans. Which, will probably have your stomach fucked up as well."

"Ha! You got jokes ma. Aight, well only 178 days left here, and then I'm never eating roast beef or chili ever again in my damn life. And I'll finally get to take you out to that dinner I promised you."

Beyoncé tried to hide her blushing. He's mentioned taking her out once he gets released and she always turns him down, but secretly she was intrigued as to what it would be like to interact with him outside of these walls.

"Now who has jokes? I told you ab-

"And I told you ion give a shit. I won't be an inmate here ever again, and you know you fuck wit' a nigga, so no more this and that about we can't. Just accept the fact that you gonna be my wife one day and have all my babies."

Beyoncé lowered her head to hide her blushing and bit her lip at the thought of not only having his kids, but one day being intimate with him. She hated to admit, but in one of her many times staring at Shawn from afar, she couldn't help but to notice a certain well-endowed member of Shawn's body just hanging in all its glory. She subtly crossed her legs at the thought, and looked up at Shawn again.

"We shall see about all that Carter. I'll see you around though, don't get yourself involved in any shit if you see it, you're almost out of here. I'd hate for you to not make that dinner."

Shawn smirked as he watched Beyoncé walk away. He shook his head at how fine this woman was. A body with natural curves for DAYS. Honey caramel skin. Blonde waves that cascaded down her back. And this back end... the softest, plumpest derrière he'd ever seen. And he'd seen plenty of fat asses in his day, but Beyoncé had the whole package. Thick thighs to match the ass. He couldn't get enough. Granted, he hadn't seen her in anything other than her work uniform, but it was fitting enough for his imagination to wander to many places. He often thought about what it'd be like to just reach out and grab it. And pick her up by those thick thighs. And kiss her, and bend her—

"Carter! Let's move brotha'. Day light is burning."

"My bad Collins, my mind was off somewhere."

He laughs, "I can see that. Listen whatever has got you caught up, you almost out of this joint, and you got the power to never come back, ya hear?"

"Thanks man. You been real solid to me ever since I got here and I appreciate it."

"Aye, from one black man to another, we gotta look out for each otha'."

A few hours later, Shawn found himself sweatin' his ass off outside underneath the New York Summer heat. He and a few other guys had a game of ball going, and it was getting intense.

Beyoncé was standing off to the side talking to a couple other officers, thankfully nothing too extreme had happened today, so they were at the liberty to relax for the moment being. She was attempting to pay attention to what one of her fellow officers was saying, but instead she couldn't take her eyes off of Shawn playing basketball. He had the ball and he was in the middle of a standoff with another inmate in the middle of the court. He licked his lips and stepped to the left, as his opponent took a step to the right, Shawn juked right and lost the other inmate. He drove forward and was easily able to score a point.

"Aye man! You travelled. That's some bullshit ref. Aye call it!

Shawn laughed, "Man that wasn't no travelling, that's called skill playa'."

The other inmate didn't take too kindly to Shawn's comment and charged forward, pushing Shawn to the ground. In the blink of an eye, a full out brawl had started.

Beyoncé saw it all unfold and ran to the scene. She knew Shawn wasn't about any drama and would regret even retaliating to the guy who had pushed him. She pulled out her baton from her waist and went to grab the man away from Shawn.

"Jones! Jones, get off him! NOW! Get off him now Jones!"

Earl Jones. Convicted for possession of cocaine with intent to sell, heroin with intent to sell, and Xanax with intent to sell. Bottom line, he was in the middle of trying to appeal the 15 year sentence he was given three years ago.

"Get off me bitch."

In a moments time, he had pushed Beyoncé with so much force she landed straight on her back—hitting the concrete. Shawn saw red. He grabbed Jones by the back of his shirt and punched him over and over again, feeling his knuckles go raw.

"If—you—ever—put—yo—mothafuckin'—hands—on—her—again..."

"Shawn stop! You're going to kill him!"

He felt hands pulling him back, and then everything went black.