Wolfstar

6) changing feelings

The next day Sirius surprised everyone when he told them that he was off to the library to do his homework.

'Are you sick?' James said dramatically and he put his hand on Sirius' forehead.

'No, I just thought, been here for almost two years, why not give it a try?' Sirius looked at Remus meaningfully, hoping he would understand to follow him.

'You know what, I'll come with you', Remus said. 'In that way I can keep an eye on you so you don't go climbing into the bookshelves or break anything.'

'Okay Pete, it looks like we're the only not-boring people here. Let's go outside. See you guys later' James said. When they walked away, Remus started on Sirius. 'Could you be any more obvious?'

'What do you mean?'

'Looking at me like that. You're lucky James is oblivious as hell so he doesn't understand we - well, you are - up to something. Just be more subtle next time or you'll have to tell him so I will have to tell him about my condition as well.'

'I'm sorry I didn't go to acting school, Mr. Professional Liar. And don't you want to tell them about you? They will feel left out.'

'I will, but later. I'm not ready yet.'

'This year?'

'Yes, this year.'

When they walked into the library, Madam Pince looked astonished. 'Back at the library? AGAIN?'

'Yes, Remus forced me to do my homework here', Sirius sniggered.

'I didn't, Siri-' Remus started, but Sirius already walked over to the transfiguration section. He stopped at the books about human transfiguration. He took the one out that simply read becoming an animagus, sat down, and started reading. Remus sat next to him.

'You know, we could do our actual homework first and then look this up', he said, already knowing the answer he was going to get.

'Screw that, it's boring. This is much cooler, Moony.' So Remus gave up.

'Jeez, look at these instructions! Holding a mandrake leaf in your mouth FOR A MONTH? You're supposed to sleep and eat with that thing? What if you swallow it?'

Remus looked over, curious now. He'd read a lot but never got onto animagi. It seemed in no way possible that Sirius Black, who never really pays attention to details or do any assignment given correctly, would be able to succeed at this. 'It's too complicated', he said to him.

'I don't care', was all Sirius replied. He started scribbling down all the instructions and to Remus' surprise, in extreme detail and well organised. 'Why aren't you like this with your homework?' he wondered out loud. 'Because I am genuinely interested in this, whereas I'm not in other subjects. My mind doesn't work like yours.'

When they were finished, they went outside to find Peter and James. James roared with delight to see them again, as if it had been years and jumped onto Sirius. They rolled a few feet down the hill and started laughing. Remus went to sit down next to Peter, who was looking slightly jealous. 'So, what did you two do outside?' Remus asked.

'Nothing much. Had a sort of picnic and James tried to summon fish out of the lake. It didn't work.' Peter grinned.

'Sounds like a really productive afternoon', Remus sighed. He wondered how they were able to make tests and get passable grades.

'So did you really study? Or was Sirius off to his secret girlfriend again?'

'No, we actually studied, believe it or not.'

'So you're not his secret girl.. boyfriend then?'

'What?' Remus felt that shiver in his body again.

'Well, since you were absent as well yesterday.. And now you're off to the library together, I'm surprised Sirius even knows where it is, you know, since he never studies. It just seems unlikely. And he came up with this girlfriend story so I thought, maybe..'

'No no, we're not.. I'm not..' Remus had meant to say gay, but somehow the word got stuck in his throat. He was never really interested in girls and he always thought it'd come later, but now he thought about the word, it sort of made sense. He wasn't going to share that with Peter though. Would that explain his feelings towards Sirius? I mean, Sirius was really attractive, everyone could see that. But something changed regarding last year, the feeling he got when Sirius hugged him or held his hand that morning.

'It's okay, I was just asking', Peter said. Luckily he dropped it and started to watch James and Sirius, who were dueling and James pretended to have died, clutching his heart and falling dramatically into the grass. Sirius laughed heartily and swept his hair out of his face. Remus couldn't help but think that maybe, he did like Sirius Black more than he wanted to admit or initially thought.